Granny
Lindsay Lohan scores a point for covering up her tanless knees and ankles.
But she loses more points for the Claire’s rhinestone necklace and the Granny needlepoint ruffled Matthew Williamson top.
Perhaps she is emulating Colin Firth/Mark Darcy in a reindeer sweater (those crazy Brits call it a jumper). Otherwise, it’s not a good look.
Antics
I don’t care for Sophie Monk’s gray one-shouldered jumpsuit. But I *really* don’t care for the underwear on her head.
Call me a purist, but I don’t think antics belong on the red carpet. I get that you are here to sell your new line of shapewear. Truly, I do. I just don’t think you need to put them on your head. Honestly. There. Are. Panties. On. Your. Head.
Nothing about these photos make me want to rush out and buy your fabulously designed shapewear, Sophie. In fact, it produces the exact opposite effect. If *not* buying the item you’re hawking prevents behavior like this, then that’s what I’ll do.
We got spirit, yes we do
Aisha Tyler looks very– ahem– spirited. Maybe this is what cheerleaders on 90210 would wear.
Aisha is going far to trendy, and doing it poorly. She is tall, statuesque, and positively gorgeous. Play that up with classic and polished clothing. Rachel Bilson she ain’t. So don’t try to go that route.
And look for a new hair stylist.
Slip up
Normally I love Rachel Weisz. She always looks classic and elegant, but with a little sultry twist.
I was a bit disappointed in this Narciso Rodriguez dress. I don’t hate it, but the top seems incongruous withe the bottom.
The top says LBD with the tight beaded bodice and a slight bondage/choking vibe. Then the bottom has a wispy ethereal quality that doesn’t make sense with the top.
Finally, the wisp of slip at her thigh just makes me think of my grandmother saying, “Do you think she knows her slip is showing?”
From a distance
From a distance (to quote a sappy Bette Midler), Lindsay Lohan looks ok. Zooming in tells a completely different story. She becomes a trainwreck.
Exhibit A: Spray Tan. How did they miss her knees and ankles? And is she really that pasty and ashen?
Exhibit B: Sheer Top. You can see the tag on the side, and there seems to have been a rip near her right boob that was shoddily fixed.
Exhibit C: Bra Strap. Three cheers that she wore a bra, given the sheerness of the top and her propensity to go without support. But why not a strapless bra?
I think she should have kept her leather jacket on!
Little Bo Peep
Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep
at the Hollywood Life Awards
and doesn’t know where to find them.
(Perhaps they are hiding under all these yards of lace and organza.)
Xena
Kelly Lynch seems to be channelling Xena the Scottish Warrior Princess here. Why else would she pair Larry the Cable Guy’s plaid shirt with some butt-kickin’ boots and a studded purse? I don’t know if the look is Scottish, western, biker, or warrior. But I know it’s bad.
Begrudgingly
I have begrudgingly accepted that Kenley Collins did indeed earn her spot at Bryant Park last night.
Despite her efforts to reconcile with her fellow Project Runway designers, she still has some maturing to do. She also has some chips-on-the-shoulder to lose. But it is about fashion and not about attitude in the end.
Watching the show, I wasn’t too aghast at Michael Kors’ comment about Kenley’s dress looking eerily similar to a recent Alexander McQueen dress. But looking at the McQueen dress after the show, I was shocked. I really hope that Kenley didn’t see the McQueen dress. Can we give her the benefit of the doubt, meaning she super-coincidentally designed almost the exact same dress? I hope she didn’t see the McQueen dress before. Truly. Or they just rewarded plagiarism.
But her design put her in the top two. Hence, Bryant Park — here Kenley comes.
I do feel badly for Jerell. His collection was overdone, sure. I didn’t disagree with last night’s judging. But the guy WON the previous elimination challenge (inspired by the New York Botanical Garden). It’s a shame that the previous winner doesn’t get to move on. What was the point/benefit of winning that challenge?
Joe six pack
Here is case-in-point that the Tom Cruise family lives in a different world than us average “Joe six packs.” In May, Suri Cruise is photographed playing with her mom’s $600 Roger Vivier flats. Ergo, it makes perfect sense that said child is made a one-of-a-kind custom-made pair of Roger Vivier flats.
Awww. How cute. Mommy and me get to wear matching shoes. Never mind that these are ridiculously expensive shoes that she’ll outgrow in 3 months (not that I think they had to buy then, mind you).
Cry for help
This isn’t an outfit. This is a cry for help. And for hair dye.
I am sure the Obama campaign is very proud of this celebrity endorsement. It will help them secure the white trash skanky vote. Or perhaps she’ll do a lap dance for anyone in Ohio or Florida who will vote for Obama rather than McCain.
PS That poor dog. His t-shirt says “I bark 4 Obama.”
