Natural death

April 20, 2009 at 12:44 pm (Deep V, Halter, Jumpsuit, Kate Walsh, Necklace) (, , , , , , )

Why won’t jumpsuits die a natural death? They are universally unflattering, unless you happen to be over 6 feet tall. Kate Walsh’s is particularly unattractive, unless she intended to look like a barrel or the Dalai Lama.

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My eyes

April 7, 2009 at 1:33 pm (Floral, Katy Perry) (, , , , , , )

My eyes! My eyes! Dear Lord in heaven, my eyes!

My retinas have burned and my pupils are dilated, all due to Katy Perry’s pant suit!

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L’Wren

April 6, 2009 at 1:32 pm (All Black, Backless, Mock Turtleneck, Nicole Kidman, Sequins) (, , , , , )

Nicole Kidman has been disappointing me with her consistent L’Wren Scott wardrobe. Soooo snoozy. Really. Is there anything remotely interesting, fresh, or unusual about this dress?

Wake me up when she starts wearing Chanel again.

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Oompa Loompa

April 2, 2009 at 3:03 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

WTF? When did Valentino morph into an Oopma Loompa?

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ARGyle

April 2, 2009 at 2:57 pm (Argyle, Buttons, Cardigan, Michelle Obama, Necklace, Pleated) (, , , , , , )

Michelle Obama followed Jackie-O’s fashion footsteps across the pond. Has she been a little more casual than I would suggest? Perhaps. But she’s also been looking fresh and classy and fabulous.

Today’s outfit I just don’t get. First and foremost, it does not match. And I think it was intended to match. The shoe, dress and cardigan colors are all off, and not it a quirky “this doesn’t match but it goes together” way, but in a “she really wants these to all the the same color but they aren’t.”

And what is the deal with the sweater? Besides being off-buttoned (is that on purpose?) and manically argyled (the left sleeve, which you can’t see here, is also argyle), it just isn’t appealing.

While I love that she is rewearing the inaguration Jimmy Choo shoes, I didn’t think the green color worked on inaguration day and I don’t think they work today.

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Support

March 30, 2009 at 12:02 pm (All Black, Belt, Deep V, High Waisted, Jumpsuit, Kim Kardashian, Pleated, Studded, Tank) (, , , , , , )

Memo to Kim Kardashian: You have cantaloupes, not tangerines. The girls need waaayyyyy more support than this.  Lift ’em high, girlfriend! And never ever balance them over a mega high waisted belt again. Not doing you any favors!

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Is this an outfit

March 16, 2009 at 11:20 am (Buttons, Cardigan, Deep V, Liv Tyler, Pockets, Sheer) (, , , , , , )

I’m not sure I can even call this an outfit.

Doesn’t it look like Liv Tyler threw a cardigan over her nightie to grab the newspaper off the front stoop?

Or perhaps she’s recreating the final scene from Bridget Jones’s Diary, where Bridget is chases after Mark Darcy in her tiny undies after he reads the unflattering comments in her diary.

Either way, this just isn’t an outfit.

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Please…Stop

March 12, 2009 at 12:59 pm (Katie Holmes, Leggings, Strapless) (, , , , , )

Please, Katie Holmes. Please make it stop. For the love of God and all things fashionable and holy. This just doesn’t suit you.

The Jason Wu dress is not the strongest look in his Fall 2009 collection. The footless leggings are far too LiLo. And I really dislike the Rousseau shoes.

The only good thing I can say is, “at least you didn’t design it yourself!”

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Props

March 10, 2009 at 9:56 am (Asymmetrical, Boots, Cardigan, Diane Kruger, Fur, Metallic, Ruffles, Shiny, Tights) (, , , , , , )

I guess you gotta give Diane Kruger some props for trying. She tries very hard. And she is usually soooo close.

But, as they say, close only counts in horseshoes.  Certainly not in fashion.

The Roberto Cavallichain link dress seems a little frumpy figure skater. And I don’t get the fur shrug with dress. Put it on a tailored Dita von Teese or Victoria Beckham look and I get it. But with an edgy dress and trash sack booties? Nuh-uh.

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YMCA

March 6, 2009 at 10:54 am (Belt, Buttons, Fergie, Hat, Military, Victoria Beckham) (, , , , , , )

I know the last Spice Girls tour didn’t go so well. Did Victoria Beckham decide to join the Village People instead?

I love/covet/worship the Valentino bag (although Fergie’s in cream was even better), but the rest of this dumpy gray montage can go. Especially the atrocious hat/sunglasses combo. Yikes!

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