Sinking Ship

May 13, 2008 at 8:15 pm (Bows, Plaid, Salma Hayek, Suits) ()

Salma Hayek is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful women in the world. Voluptous, sensous, exotic.

Why, oh why, then, is she dressed like a librarian? I know she recently had a baby, but really? Pleats and plaid? That’s a crying shame. The sheer blouse, camisole, gargantuan bow, low lapels, and high waisted skirt are waaaay much, even in her ample chest region.

I think I’d like it better if suit were a solid. Or even a more subtle print. But all the lines of the plaid are enough to make me sea sick.

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Purple People Eaters

May 13, 2008 at 8:05 pm (Charlize Theron, Deep V, Ruffles) ()

Charlize, Charlize, Charlize!? Where did you go wrong? We expect so much more from you! You’re normally spot-on, but this Christian Dior number is all wrong. We know you *had* to wear Christian Dior (you are a spokeswoman, after all), and we know you like haute couture. But did you look in the mirror?

The color is good on her, but the silhouette is horrible. It makes her boyish frame look boxy. Maybe I’d like the skirt better at floor length. I don’t like the pilgrim-buckle on the square yellow pumps. And her hair looks over-shellacked, under dyed, and too helmet-like to go with the dress.

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