Flapper Madge

May 21, 2008 at 10:41 pm (Backless, Belt, Madonna, Necklace, Sequins) ()

I think that Madonna was thinking of learning to dance the Charleston. All she needs is a headband with a feather!

I’m no bleeding heart, but this sure seems like a lotta bling for promoting a documentary about African orphans. Mother Theresa she ain’t. And the value of that diamond necklace may equatl the GNP of Malawi.

But I digress…on to the outfit. Madonna is a force of nature. She is 49, for heaven’s sake! She looks amazing. But she is 49. She should wear a bra. The girls shouldn’t be two inches above your belt.

And what is the deal with all the fringe!? I can handle the skirt. But the sleeves and the back is too much. And I am not endorsing the halter-top-meets-long-sleeve-cut-outs.

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Lamentable Lamé

May 21, 2008 at 6:18 pm (Belt, Cate Blanchett, Draped, Metallic) ()

Gold lamé is tough to wear. The ballsy Cate Blanchett has successfully taken on metallics before. But those successes usually had a more fitted cut and a heavier fabric. We love Cate — and her risk-taking works more often than not. Unfortunately, this is one of those “nots.”

Maybe we can chalk it up to jet-lag. She was just in Cannes, and the flight to Sydney probably wore her out. Maybe her bags got held up in customs. Hopefully there was some good excuse for why she had to wear this shiny Solid Gold trash bag of a dress.

I don’t even know how to look at the various components of this look. Do we start with the off-center neckline? Or the pockets? Or the hem? Or her hair? Or do we just focus on the SHINE?

Oh yeah, I do like the shoes. At least we were able to find one thing to compliment.

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Through clenched teeth

May 21, 2008 at 4:01 pm (All Black, Belt, Deep V, Lace, Liv Tyler) ()

Poor Liv Tyler. She is really trying to look happy. Through her clenched teeth. Now, we know she is going through a divorce. I’m sure it’s no fun to appear on a late-night talk show during all that. But the bright red lipstick and broad smile aren’t very convincing.

But on to the dress. For an all black number, there is a bit going on here. Plunging neckline. Lacy detail. Belt. Draped skirt. I’d like it better if one of these details were removed.

But overall, the look is brought down becuase the poor girl just looks clenched. Wound up as tight. Perhaps she is in need of a long massage.

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