Hat trick

July 31, 2008 at 5:39 pm (Belt, Hat, Lace, Solange Knowles) (, , , , , )

Those crazy Brits do like their hats. Ascot. Weddings. Any excuse to stick some wacky feathers and a few bows on their heads. And I think it’s kooky fun. If you’re Kate Middleton. Or the Queen Mum. But you have to be British. It isn’t good enough to just be in London. So Sarah Jessica Parker doesn’t qualify. And Solange Knowles certainly doesn’t qualify!

What *is* that thing on her head? At first glance, I was worried that she was being attacked by a beanie baby. Or a 24 kt gold lily pad.

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Workin’ at the car wash

July 31, 2008 at 3:29 pm (All Black, Katie Holmes, Leggings, Ruffles, Tank) (, , , , , )

Part of me really likes Katie Holmes. I think she was refreshing and perky once. And although I think Tom Cruise is a controlling Svengali, I hope she is happy.

Her fashion choices have gone through several Madonna-like iterations. Once she was the wholesome girl-next-door. Then she was a sleek minimalist. Then she was a high fashion couture runway fan, who uttered “You cannot be unprepared for a season.”

What is she now? Hobo Chic? Downtrodden Urban? She has been sporting pegged baggy jeans, roomy cardigans, and chunky belts that look more Gap sale rack that Giorgio Armani.  And today she looks like a walking car wash.

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Hausfrau

July 31, 2008 at 12:58 pm (Floral, Liv Tyler, Pleated, Sheer, Strapless) (, , , , , )

I want to like this dress. I’ve looked at it several times and TRIED to like it. But I just don’t.

I don’t understand the slip. Why is it blindingly white? And why does it not do all the way to the hem of the skirt? And the dress proportions seem off. Why is the bodice so short and the skirt so long? It makes her look far too hippy (not hippie) and wide. Finally, I just don’t like the flowers. The whole picture is too matronly and cutesy for me.

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Brideshead rejected

July 31, 2008 at 12:48 pm (Hayley Atwell, Maxi-dress) (, , , , , , )

The costumes and scenery maybe the best thing going for Brideshead Revisted. It’s a good thing they had Hayley Atwell as an actor, and not as the costume designer!

I am not sure what she is wearing for this photo shoot. Was the dress originally gray, and she accidently got entangled in a food fight with mustard, relish and ketchup? Is she vying for the Pamela Anderson Buoyant Boobs award?

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Vacation

July 25, 2008 at 4:03 pm (Denim, Fergie, Hat, High Waisted, Knit, Mischa Barton, Shorts, Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , )

I’m going on vacation for a few days. What should I pack?

Here is my checklist….

m Crocheted swim suit

 

 

 

m High-waisted denim short shorts

  

m Fedora hat

 

 

 

 m A butler– I mean husband– to carry my bags

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aaahhh…forget it…too complicated. I’ll just pack my captain’s hat and call it a day.

See you in a few days!

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Undecided

July 25, 2008 at 3:01 pm (Amy Adams, Halter, High Waisted, Jumpsuit) (, , , , , )

We have to make decisions every day. Obama or McCain? Paper or Plastic? Gas or Electric?

In the big picture, perhaps this decision isn’t very important. But I can’t decide if I like Amy Adams’ outfit or not. At first I kinda liked it. I still don’t hate it. But I was surprised to see–egads–it’s pants.

It makes sense as a maxi-dress. I am not sure I am feeling the wide-leg culottes. And my stance against jumpsuits is well-documented. So, perhaps on jumpsuit priniciple alone I should say this outfit is bad. A girl ain’t worth much if she doesn’t have her principles.

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Don’t anger Nina

July 25, 2008 at 2:15 pm (Corset, Rose McGowan, Shiny, Strapless) (, , , , , )

On Wednesday night’s Project Runway, the admirable Nina Garcia said that short, tight and shiny are the quickest ways to look cheap.

Hmmmm…I guess Rose McGowan didn’t see that episode, huh? This Dolce and Gabbana dress is reminiscent of the dress that Wesley got auf’d for. Just as shiny. Just as short. Just as tight. Wesley’s fabric was “green,” and Rose’s dress is an atrocious sea foam green.

Yep, that shows it’s just as trashy. I’d say it’s actually a lot worse.

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Unpleasant peasant

July 24, 2008 at 12:11 pm (Checkered, Julianne Moore, Tribal) (, , , , , )

Normally, I focus on red carpet fashions. If you are a celebrity making oodles of money and have access to  the best in fashion, you darn well better look good. Dang it, you are paid to look good.

But we all lead regular lives. If you are out running errands and look a little short of fabulous, I get it. You should see me during early morning Starbucks runs.  So, I’ll give you a little leeway.

Only a little leeway, though. Julianne Moore would need A LOT of leeway in this outfit. There is not one single thing that is flattering about this dress. I honestly can’t pick one single thing. If I was being waterboarded, I could relent with, “Black is a stylish color,” or “The bag certainly looks roomy.”

Not even torture could get me to like those shoes. In fact, those shoes ARE torture! Are the Doc Marten flip-flops? Combat slip-ons? Goodyear lace-ups?

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I’ll be hating this long time

July 23, 2008 at 9:17 am (Denim, Mariah Carey, Pastels) (, , , , , )

Memo to Mariah Carey: It isn’t 1995, and it ain’t Jersey. This look doesn’t fly any more.

She obviously wants us to know she had a kickin’ body–and she does. She obviously likes a youthful, girly style–great. She can accomplish all that (and more!) without looking like a trailer trash guest star on My Name is Earl.

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28 Dresses

July 22, 2008 at 5:01 pm (Anna Popplewell, Bows, Sashes, Shiny) (, , , , , )

Dear Diary,

I just loved the movie 27 Dresses. It was sooo funny, and that James Marsden sure is a cutie pie. He was great in Enchanted too. I really love him. Now, I’m only 19, and he’s like 34. Maybe if I dress like I’m twice my age, he’ll like me more.

This “dress older” plan is great. That’ll snag me the man of my dreams. I’ll wear a matronly red dress that covers my knees and has poofy sleeves. The bright red will make my porcelain white skin look even whiter. And I’ll do my hair in a great up-do that should add a good ten years to my appearance.

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