Call my lawyer
London, England (AP) — Today, on Howick Place in London, Naomi Campbell was assaulted by feral cats sent by the bag-handler’s union at Heathrow Airport. The 38-year old temperamental supermodel was entering an art exhibit features photos of even more supermodels. The feral cats confused her rail-thin body for a scratching post, and rapidly reduced her dress to swags of silly string. Campbell looked pale and aghast from the experience, or from skipping lunch for the last three weeks.
“It was bloody carnage,” says an emotional but unnamed eye-witness. “The cats descended with sharpened claws exposed. There was nowhere to hide. Thank God for those suspender-like straps on her dress– they were the only things that saved her from complete exhibitionism! God save the Queen.”
Royal Guards said the cats, who all have prior convictions of mauling and assault, will face three charges each: assaulting an international supermodel, conduct unbecoming a feral cat, and the use of threatening, abusive meows toward an international supermodel. The cats will appear in a London magistrates’ court on July 21.
Paris fashion week
Paris fashion week is so fun. New York may have taken over as the center of the modern fashion world, but Paris is still tops in terms of overall chicness per capita. Plus, they’ve got croissants.
Liv Tyler looked fab-u-lous yesterday in John Galliano. Unfortunately, she appeared today in this Givenchy confusion. There are parts that I really like, but the totality is too much of a jumbled mess. Let’s look at the scorecard.
REALLY LIKED:
– Knot at the neckline
– Bodice
– Graphic material
– Shoes
JUMBLED MESS:
– Single sleeve (at a minimum, it is too long. I think I’d like the look overall if the single sleeve was completely gone)
– Skirt draping (I like the asymmetry, but am not completely sold on the papoose draping look)
– Hair and makeup (It looks a little like she overslept for school and quickly pulled her hair back. And doesn’t she look a lot like Alanis Morissette?)
Still smiling?
We are weak, petty and small; we can’t resist another Mamma Mia post. (Here’s the first.) We blame it on our friends in the fashion blogosphere who posted pictures of the back of the dress Livia Giuggioli wore at the premiere of Mamma Mia (co-starring her delicious husband, Colin Firth.)
Aahhh…a momentary distraction while we think of Colin Firth. As Mr. Darcy. Sigh.
OK, back to the task at hand. Literally. I mean, look at the back of this dress. WHAT!? She is wearing a flippin’ BUMBLE BEE on her back. Who designed this insanity? And what on earth would possess a person to buy it?
Finally, Colin Firth must be a dang good actor. How else could he look at the camera with such a straight look on his face? Although his wife is beautiful, and I am sure their relationship is much deeper than whatever she choses to wear on a certain day (blah, blah, blah), how can he not be saying, “Ok, come on honey. Hut, hut. Let’s get you into his dark and dim theater. Pronto!”
Will o’ the wisp
I am not a fan of mock turtlenecks. I am not a fan of wearing a color that is the same as your skin tone, especially if you run on the pale side. I am not a fan of split-end fly-away hair styles. Ergo, I am not a fan of Cynthia Nixon’s look at the Tommy Hilfiger 10th anniversary party.
(At least she looked better than Hugh Jackman and his wife! WTF? This ain’t no backyard barbecue!)
It’s not a big surprise that I didn’t like this look, as I am not a fan of Tommy Hilfiger. I think of him a Ralph Lauren wannabe, but his clothes aren’t nearly as ingenious, stylish or visionary.
