You say it’s your birthday

July 3, 2008 at 4:16 pm (Baby Doll, Hat, Lace, Lindsay Lohan, Tuxedo) (, , , , )

Awwwwwww. Here she comes. Here’s our cute little girl, all already for the Prom. Our little LiLo has sure grown up fast, hasn’t she? Wait here while Daddy gets a picture of your date pinning a corsage on your dress. Oh. Oops. Hmmm. Your date’s a she. In a tuxedo. And she’s busy smoking her cig right now. That’s OK. Mommy can roll with that, and Daddy can get a picture next time. No problem, sweetie. Don’t worry.

Wow, sweetie, your dress is sure a blend of precious and skank. That’s a lot of boobie for the prom, isn’t it honey? And why do you look so PO’d? What’s wrong, sweetie? You should be happy on your prom birthday! You’re such a big girl now. Don’t worry that you might have another baby sister to support because of your irresponsible and skirt-chasing daddy. It’s OK. Just have a nice time at the Prom, and be sure to make home in time for your curfew, OK?

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You’re gonna be a star

July 3, 2008 at 1:42 pm (Asymmetrical, Draped, Kylie Minogue, Sequins) (, , , , )

Kylie, Kylie, Kylie. The childhood dream is to BE a star, not to WEAR a star. Or, worse yet, wear twenty multi-colored and sequined stars haphazardly strewn around your entire dress.

There’s a lot we Americans just don’t appreciate about Kylie Minogue. To us, she is just a pop one-hit-wonder from the late eighties known for her bubbly remake of Locomotion. [Sing it with me: Everybody’s doin a brand new dance now…c’mon baby, do the loco-motion…]

Due to her vast and significant contributions to the world of music, she was given an Order of the British Empire (OBE) award from Prince Charles yesterday. She is only an Officer, though, and hasn’t made the cut to Commander or Knight. Yet.

Kylie, please know that our fingers are crossed for you. C’mon, baby!

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