Let’s talk about v-necks

July 9, 2008 at 6:06 pm (Clutch, Deep V, Denim, High Waisted, Karina Smirnoff, Lauren Conrad, Necklace, Ruffles) (, , , , , )

OK. I thought it seemed pretty obvious. But I guess not. So I’ll spell it out: If you are going to wear a plunging v-neck, it has got to look good. It. Has. Got. To. Look. Good. Meaning the girls gotta be facing northward (we’d even take dead center), they gotta be supported, or they gotta be more covered up. Otherwise, you’ll be getting your photo taken for all the wrong reasons.

Do you hear me, Lauren Conrad? There is no excuse for this. Honestly. You don’t *have* to wear a dress that plunges to your belly button. You could wear a dress with a moderate dip– say, mid-breast.  Or even slightly below. But not to your navel.

Let’s take a peek at your party companion, Karina Smirnoff. Better usage of the plunging neckline– she gets three points. But gaudy diamond cross, deduct one point. And these crazy high-waisted button-fly jeans– deduct ten points. You two are quite a duo.

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Off key

July 9, 2008 at 1:33 pm (Alicia Keys, Belt, Denim, Hat, Leather, Scarf) (, , , , )

Dear Diary,

London’s awesome in the summer. I’m so glad I have a show here tonight. It’s about sunny and 63 degrees (that’s about 17 degrees for my Celsius diary readers). Let’s catch some sites. Big Ben. Tower of London. London Eye. Those silly double-decker buses. Love ’em all.

What to wear. What. To. Wear. Hmmm. I do want to fit in, you know. Regular person on the street. Don’t want people staring.

I *am* feeling a bit biker-chick-chic today. Let’s try my grey jeans and my toasty warm lined leather jacket. Fierce. What if I get too cold? I have to keep my throat warmed and ready to sing. Got it! How about my black Louis Vuitton bib– I mean scarf. Perfect. Plus, if I decide to have a whole lobster for lunch, I’ll be all set. No dripped butter on this t-shirt. Let’s add my trucker cap and fake-police-badge-belt. If I pull my belt to the side, I’ll look jaunty. Those crazy Brits like jaunty, right?

Perfect. Dude. Good. To. Go. Peace-out.

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Snooze, she loses

July 9, 2008 at 11:37 am (Chloe Sevigny, Corset, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

I’ve never been wild about Chloe Sevigny. I’m not really sure why, but I’ve never been enamored. Even after Boys Don’t Cry, when she was supposed to be the greatest thing since sliced bread, I shook my puzzled head and asked, “Why?”

Obviously, fashion is subjective. Especially when someone has a reputation as a trend setter. Those are big shoes to fill. For every successful look Sienna Miller, Kate Moss or the Olsen twins put together, there will be many more outfits that don’t quite catch on.

Chloe Sevigny was supposed to be one of those trendsetters. I never saw it, but I sure as heck don’t see it now. This outfit is (pardon me while I yawn) booo-ring. Like 1986-Madonna-with-a-matronly-twist boring. Like clown-pants-after-the-flood boring. Like prom-purse-from-TJ Maxx boring. You get the idea. I can get back to my Chloe-Sevigny-is-so-gosh-darned-boring nap now.

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Jumpsuit short-shorts

July 9, 2008 at 9:32 am (All Black, Deep V, Jumpsuit, Ruffles, Sashes, Selma Blair, Shorts) (, , , , )

Yesterday was a little slow…not many photos out there to mock and ridicule. So imagine our delight this morning when we awoke to this outfit on Selma Blair. Wow, this look was really something. Too bad that something wasn’t good.

We know that Selma is a fan of the deep v-necks, and they work well on her. But to add an uber-exaggerated ruffle sleeve and attached running shorts is a bit overboard (despite her amazing legs).

I wonder if Miss Blair also suffered from a sewing crisis on her way to TRL? Or maybe she had to use the potty, and this was faster than taking off the entire dang jumpsuit.

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