I pity the fool

August 18, 2008 at 12:10 pm (All Black, Boots, Madonna, Metallic, Necklace, Sheer, Shorts, Tights) (, , , , , , )

I just have to say this, for my own mental health: Madonna is TOTALLY creeping me out these days. She has these spindly yet muscular arms and mega cheekbones. And why is she wearing such weird hoodie/athletic shorts combinations for her rehearsals?

But I digress. Back to the outfit at hand. Let’s break down this fiftieth birthday outfit (happy birthday, Madge!) from the bottom up:

Black thigh-high boots
Black hose
Black granny shorts
Black sheer dress
(Are you beginning to sense a theme?)
Black top we can’t see becuase it’s obsured by her stringy hair
Sheer black puffy sleeves with shiny gold cuffs
Eight pounds (or are they stones in Britian?) of Mr. T necklaces
Shiny clutch purse with rhinetone lettering

I guess her new look is “Biker-chick-figure-skater-meets-Mr.-T.”

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Bordello babe

August 18, 2008 at 11:39 am (Necklace, Paula Abdul, Ruffles, Strapless) (, , , , , , )

Paula Abdul has never been a minimalist dresser. She loves a lot of details, a lot of color and a lot of accessories.

But she looks like a bordello babe in this dress, dawg. Plus she’s wearing a chandelier for a necklace.┬áJust imagine the scathing review Simon would give this outfit?

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