I’m a director!

August 25, 2008 at 5:31 pm (Kirsten Dunst, Shorts) (, , , , , , )

Kirsten Dunst is trying very hard to convince us she is a director. Actors get all gussied up for red carpet premieres, but DIRECTORS look rumpled and artsy and intense.

To achieve an rumpled/artsy/intense director look, you must apparently wear a shapeless blouse with frayed edges over short shorts with black penny loafers. Good to know. I wonder if they teach that in film school? Thank heaven’s we don’t have to experience Quentin Tarantino in short shorts!

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Losing my lunch

August 25, 2008 at 2:02 pm (Denim, Katie Holmes, Sneakers) (, , , , , , )

I really don’t feel well. I think I am going to lose my lunch on this one. It is really that nauseatingly, horribly, side-splittingly bad. It’s not just bad fashion. It’s plain old take-me-to-the-ER-to-have-my-stomach-pumped bad.

When Katie Holmes spent the last month running around New York in men’s prps jeans, I didn’t like her peg-and-roll look, but at least I thought it was endearing that she was wearing Tom’s jeans while they were separated. It seemed cute in an eighth-grade sort of way. Like writing “I © Tom” on her notebook.

Not now we realize that they aren’t HIS jeans after all. What we have here is a case of HIS AND HERS jeans. With complimentary sneakers. That is a whole different category. We moved from cute to creepy. From endearing to nauseating.

Even poor Suri is hiding her head in shame.

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Head injury

August 25, 2008 at 1:49 pm (All Black, Denim, Feathers, Headband, January Jones, Tank) (, , , , , , , )

Did January Jones trip and fall on her way to the Mad Men season two wrap party? Is she bleeding excessively from her head? Shouldn’t someone be calling 911? Why else would she have this appendage super-glued to her head?

Seriously, though. I saw the head-shot first and thought, “a little costume-y, but with the right outfit I’ll give it a pass.” Mad Men does specialize in period clothing, so this event could carry a forties- or fifties-inspired look. While I could never fully endorse a sheer headband/scarf adorned with feathers, I could understand what she was going for.

Then I saw the full body photo. She definitely did NOT go for a forties- or fifties-inspired look. She’s wearing a flippin’ tank top and low-ride skinny jeans. Why *that* outfit gets a feathered headband is absolutely beyond me.

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Going for gold

August 25, 2008 at 9:56 am (Cut-outs, Deep V, Headband, Paris Hilton, Sequins, Shiny, Stretch) (, , , , , , )

Unless Paris Hilton is participating in an Olympic sport, there is no good excuse for this outfit. While our expectations from Ms. Hilton aren’t high in the first place, this get-up is truly ridiculous. It isn’t flattering, it isn’t functional, and sure as heck isn’t fashionable.

And just in case you didn’t know who she is, it was particularly kind of her to emblazon her name along her T, with a follow-up across her A.

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