Lemon fresh

August 26, 2008 at 6:09 pm (Beaded, Draped, Eva Mendes, Maxi-dress, Sheer, Strapless) (, , , , , , )

There are a few mysteries in the world, and we may never know the answers. Is there alien life form? How were the pyramids built? Is there really a Santa Claus? And why…oh why!?…do people want to wear maxi-dresses?

I can confidently say that I will *never* wear a maxi-dress. Here’s why: I am neither tall nor rail thin. I like McDonald’s french fries and dislike running for miles and miles. There’s a spectrum between a supermodel in a maxi-dress and a woman wearing a muumuu and using an electric scooter in the local Wal-mart. And I certainly have never been mistaken for a supermodel.

There are a few scenarios where I can relax my anti-maxi-dress stance: 1) on the beach or spa, when it is a cover-up, 2) On a plane, when it is for comfort and ease, or 3.) after major abdominal surgery or during pregnancy, when a waistband is more difficult.

I do not like maxi-dresses as red carpet wear. Imagine some of our best style icons– Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Coco Chanel, or Jackie O. Would they *ever* wear a maxi-dress? I. Don’t. Think. So. And for good reason.

Look at Eva Mendes’ recent rendition. First of all, it is a sheer maxi-dress overlay with a fitted corset lining. So this flowy number isn’t any more comfortable than a tight-fitting strapless dress. Then we have the color yellow–which I think is the most difficult color in the entire palette to wear. It looks good on virtually no one.  And then we have the beads, which remind me of a bad seventies door hanging.

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I demand a recount

August 26, 2008 at 2:00 pm (Brooch, Michelle Obama) (, , , , , )

I really like Michelle Obama. And I think her speech at last night’s Democratic National Convention was great. But her choice of this Maria Pinto dress demands a recount.

First off– the color. The turquoise color didn’t look good against the bright blue backdrop, and she looked like a turquoise version of Grimace.

Second–the cut. Her bra strap showed on occasion, and the expanse of unfettered material was uber-boring. No defined waistline, no seaming, nothing to add interest. It looks like it was sewed from a Simplicity “It’s So Easy” clothing pattern. The length was a tad too long. I get that she needed to be demure with her knees covered, but it could have still been two inches shorter. And, while she is by no means big, the cut of this dress did nothing for her hips or her backside.

Finally–the pin. What’s up with that Erickson Beamon brooch? Maybe she was trying to create focal point for the close-up shots. Is it a sunburst? A daisy? A subliminal symbol of hope, future progress and prosperity all wrapped into one metal-and-stone accessory?

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Does that make me crazy? Possibly.

August 26, 2008 at 9:47 am (Beyonce, Boots, Denim, Draped, Feathers, Kim Kardashian, Necklace, Solange Knowles, T-Shirt) (, , , , , , , , , )

It must be hard to be Beyonce’s little sister. The lady is super-beautiful, super-talented, and (apparently) super-nice. She can sing, she can dance, she can act…she’s got it all.

Since Beyonce has taken all those superlatives for herself, it seems that Solange Knowles decided to go for the last descriptive left… crazy.

To her credit, Solange completely excels at crazy. The girl *owns* crazy. Hook, line and sinker. Case in point: her get up for last night’s Letterman appearance. Is she for real? A topshop feather bolero jacket? A ten-pound gold chain? And schizophrenic booties?

It is a sad day when Kim Kardashian shows up looking twenty times classier.

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