Let them eat cake

September 15, 2008 at 3:43 pm (All White, Beaded, Clutch, Fur, Jennifer Lopez, Sequins, Strapless) (, , , , , , )

Jennifer Lopez makes me want to poke my eyeballs out slowly and painfully. She is insane. Over-the-top, let-them-eat-cake, my-foot-hurts-so-I-can’t-keep-my-Project-Runway-commitment, holier-than-thou, isn’t-my-ferret-of-a-husband-fabulous insane. She makes Victoria Beckham seem humble.

I like everything about this Marchesa dress except for the marabou boobs. It’s like Santa’s elves mated with the ice princess to generate Elizabeth Taylor’s mini-me. She definitely ain’t Jenny on the Block no more.

The visible tan lines make it even worse–how do tan lines and fur in the same outfit make sense?

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Hypnotized, mezmerized

September 15, 2008 at 2:01 pm (Kate Beckinsale, Pastels, Ruffles) (, , , , , , )

I’m feeling very sleepy…I’m feeelliing verry sleeepppy…I’m feeeelllllliinnnngg verrrry sleeeeeppppppyyy. 

I think I’m being hypnotized by Kate Beckinsale’s Prada dress. My head is spinning and my eyes are swirling.

Is it a good thing that this dress puts me into a trance? Is it a good thing to look like a coral reef? Is the dress even particularly flattering to her body?

I’m not sure. All I know is that when she snaps her fingers I’ll wake up refreshed. Maybe I’ll even have quit smoking!

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Springtime down under

September 15, 2008 at 11:13 am (Floral, Hat, Nicole Kidman, Tights, Vest) (, , , , , )

Nicole Kidman so rarely missteps, so this outfit is extra surprising.

I know it is springtime in Australia, but is it a good idea to celebrate with a floral dress with a contrasting front, purple tights, a bowler hat and Grandpa’s sweater vest?

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