Poodle

November 25, 2008 at 3:08 pm (All Black, Cardigan, Clutch, Katie Lee Joel, Knit, Tights) (, , , , , , )

Two questions: 1.) Why would anyone invite Katie Lee Joel to the Australia premiere? 2.) Why the heck did she come dressed as a black standard poodle?

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Fashion solace

November 25, 2008 at 2:39 pm (Cornrows, Metallic, Olga Kurylenko, Sequins, Tulle) (, , , , , , )

Olga Kurylenko’s Chanel dress is an enormous Quantum of Solace. Is she trying to look like a Jamaican mermaid widow? Or a Nolan Miller Barbie, a la Dynasty? I think Joan Collins wore this dress twenty years ago.

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Mad plaid

November 24, 2008 at 8:11 pm (Boots, Cardigan, Draped, Katie Holmes, Plaid, Ruffles, Suri Cruise) (, , , , , , )

I really thought/hoped/dreamed/prayed we were past the full length tartan plaid look. Sure, I get that the kid likes to wear dresses and refuses to wear pants. Does that mean that mom has to wear a big, full, ruffled, shapeless dress too? Suri’s dress and cardigan are way cuter than this ensemble.

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Lethal

November 24, 2008 at 12:09 pm (All Black, Boots, Deep V, Halter, Leather, Leggings, Metallic, Rihanna, Shiny, Strapless, Studded) (, , , , , , )

Rihanna: is this fashion or a deadly weapon? It makes a great AMA stage costume, but I’m honestly a little frightened by it. Very Pamela Anderson/ Barb Wire, Bridgette Nielsen, or “Letha” Stella from Project Runway. And we know how classy they all are.

PS I do not like your hair as of late. Please rethink the short bouffant look!

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Oscar the grouch

November 20, 2008 at 11:39 am (Bangles, Belt, Feathers, Madonna) (, , , , , , )

I am very disturbed by the “Oscar the Grouch” furry green trend. First Mischa Barton and now Madonna in Louis Vuitton. Honestly, what is this? And how can it be flattering?

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Kooky

November 18, 2008 at 11:05 am (Belt, Juliette Lewis, Jumpsuit, Sequins) (, , , , , , )

I usually refrain from posting Juliette Lewis because, frankly, I think she is a little kooky. Not raving lunatic kooky, but just ‘off’ enough that I don’t take her fashion choices seriously.

I still hold to that general premise. Juliette Lewis *is* kooky. But I couldn’t let this sequined jumpsuit go by without any comment.

If you aren’t a Solid Gold dancer, you have absolutely no business sporting a sequined jumpsuit with a 4″ belt. None. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. And, Juliette, despite your attempts to be a singer, you are NOT a Solid Gold dancer.

But what I love best is how dang proud she looks wearing this ridiculous get up!

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Stat

November 17, 2008 at 12:32 pm (Becki Newton) (, , , , , , )

Did Becki Newton accidentally wear her purple and blue candy corn night gown out of the house? This hospital gown can’t possibly be serious attire, can it?

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You got me at the bangs

November 14, 2008 at 3:17 pm (All Black, Brooch, Draped, Jessica Alba, Necklace) (, , , , , , )

I can hardly look past Jessica Alba’s  bangs to see the Gucci dress.

Are we really going to try this bang thing? It didn’t work for Katie Holmes. It didn’t work for Christina Aguilera. Sure, it looks cute on Suri, but she also still wears a diaper. So, Jessica, I don’t recommend keeping this hair style.

As for the dress, it is OK. Kinda bleeech, but OK. If I worked to have my body look that good, no way would I choose a drapey, slouchy, bunchy black number.

I know that statement vintage accessories are all the rage, but it kinda looks a frilly pocket watch chain. All she needs is a smoking jacket and a monocle.

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Shuffleboard

November 14, 2008 at 12:53 pm (Marisa Tomei) (, , , , , , )

I think I’m being hypnotized by Marisa Tomei’s Alberta Ferretti muumuu. I’m mysteriously feeling a little sleepy.

It also looks like she squeezed in the Milk movie premiere between rounds of shuffleboard and taking her bischon frise to the dog groomer. I think my aunt had a similar dress in the 70s made of a completely flammable polyester.

Finally, it also kinda reminds me of Van Gogh’s Starry Night.

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Eternal question

November 13, 2008 at 5:48 pm (All White, Beaded, Draped, Fergie, Sequins, Tights) (, , , , , , )

Sure, “is so-and-so pregnant?” is the eternal Hollywood question. The minute someone sports a little paunch in their size -2 frame, everyone things they’re preggers.

But seriously…is Fergie pregnant? Look at these recent photos. Her washboard abs seem less washboardy, and the girls are absolutely enormous.

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