L’Wren
Nicole Kidman has been disappointing me with her consistent L’Wren Scott wardrobe. Soooo snoozy. Really. Is there anything remotely interesting, fresh, or unusual about this dress?
Wake me up when she starts wearing Chanel again.
Support
Memo to Kim Kardashian: You have cantaloupes, not tangerines. The girls need waaayyyyy more support than this. Lift ’em high, girlfriend! And never ever balance them over a mega high waisted belt again. Not doing you any favors!
I’m over the flapper look. Over it, I tell you. Do you hear me Karl Lagerfeld? You may see the Great Gatsby. I just see boring and tired.
And I wouldn’t want to be standing next to her, getting fwapped by those crazy beads every time she moves.
Budweiser
I don’t hate Gwen Stefani’s Chanel dress, and overall she looks pretty great. But I can’t help but see a Budweiser ad in the making…
Hit me with your best shot
I am utterly and completely over Taylor Momsen’s Pat Benatar look. Those leggings are really unfortunate.
Plus, I get totally annoyed every time I see her photo. She’s 15 and newly famous. Why does she always look so pissed off about being photographed?
Teese
I get that Dita Von Teese is going for a particular look. And that her look is inherently costumey. I can live with that on her.
But what on God’s green earth is she wearing on her head?
Multiple personalities
I think Rumer Willis might suffer from a multiple personality disorder.
Sometimes she dresses like a sexpot. Sometimes she dresses like a guy. In this photo, she dresses like she grabbed whatever was laying around on the floor.
I’m not sure that these clothes are even clean. Or that she combed her hair. I sure as heck hope she at least brushed her teeth!
Sheer disaster
The other wince dress of the Golden Globes for me was Renee Zellweger. Usually I love Carolina Herrera. And I like to concept of this look. I don’t know what went with the execution. I think there is too much going on. And it’s bad.
I like the sheer top and corset concept. But it is overwrought with the mock neck, the pegged sleeves, and the mermaid skirt. Then you add Renee’s always-odd red carpet contortionist posing style and the ponytail extension hairdo, and any effort at elegance or minimalism is out the window.
Hef
Really? Really, Jessica Alba?
You want us to buy cropped satin pajamas as high fashion? They may be Dolce and Gabbana, but it looks more like the House of Hef. All you need are velvet slippers and a post coitus cigarette.
New kind of crazy
Lily Allen’s always been her own brand of crazy, but now she’s mixing it up to be a new kind of crazy. I like the move toward sophisticated, but don’t think that a sheer full-body condom is quite necessary.