Eternal question

November 13, 2008 at 5:48 pm (All White, Beaded, Draped, Fergie, Sequins, Tights) (, , , , , , )

Sure, “is so-and-so pregnant?” is the eternal Hollywood question. The minute someone sports a little paunch in their size -2 frame, everyone things they’re preggers.

But seriously…is Fergie pregnant? Look at these recent photos. Her washboard abs seem less washboardy, and the girls are absolutely enormous.

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Didn’t try

November 13, 2008 at 11:11 am (All White, Michelle Branch, Pockets) (, , , , , , , )

Obviously, Michelle Branch didn’t put too much work into her gunny sack-origami CMA look. So we won’t put much work into the analysis.

It just sucks.

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Allure

November 7, 2008 at 11:03 am (All White, Backless, Mischa Barton, Necklace) (, , , , , , )

I like Mischa Barton’s Dsquared2 dress from the front, but am not finding the back photo particularly alluring. Perhaps Mischa should avoid backless in the future.

What do you think?

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Hot off the runway

September 30, 2008 at 11:17 am (All White, Roisin Murphy) (, , , , , , )

Hot off the Gareth Pugh‘s Paris runway, Roisin Murphy wore this futuristic dress to yesterday’s Christian Dior show.

Gee…I dunno. Inherently, Gareth Pugh’s “Joan Crawford meets Predator” look for Spring 09 isn’t for everyone. His stuff is very out there.

This dress in particular looks like the Michelin man humped an armadillo. Could she look *more* unhappy wearing it?

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Emmy let down

September 22, 2008 at 10:01 am (All Black, All White, America Ferrara, Christina DeRosa, Clutch, Costume, Draped, Necklace, Ruffles, Shiny) (, , , , , , , , )

We have two examples on the Emmy red carpet don’t list today.

First, America Ferrara normally is on our A list, and she simply faltered this time around. I love her in color with a fitted silhouette. Why she deviated from that magic formula, I’m not sure. But I am real sure that it didn’t look good.

The vintage Werle dress is too voluminous for her, especially with the ruching. The heavy necklace, dark color, and long hair just weighed her down more. We look forward to a better attempt next time, America. Remember that color and fun are your friends!

Christina DeRosa, on the other hand, falters regularly. I think she confuses the red carpet with a Halloween party, and loves to make every look into a costume. If she can show off the girls in the process, even better!

This is just a bad senorita stereotype all around. From the ridiculous fan color to the clutch purse to the tacky platform shoes. Worst off all, the look says cheap, cheap, cheap. Ugh. There aren’t even words.

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Let them eat cake

September 15, 2008 at 3:43 pm (All White, Beaded, Clutch, Fur, Jennifer Lopez, Sequins, Strapless) (, , , , , , )

Jennifer Lopez makes me want to poke my eyeballs out slowly and painfully. She is insane. Over-the-top, let-them-eat-cake, my-foot-hurts-so-I-can’t-keep-my-Project-Runway-commitment, holier-than-thou, isn’t-my-ferret-of-a-husband-fabulous insane. She makes Victoria Beckham seem humble.

I like everything about this Marchesa dress except for the marabou boobs. It’s like Santa’s elves mated with the ice princess to generate Elizabeth Taylor’s mini-me. She definitely ain’t Jenny on the Block no more.

The visible tan lines make it even worse–how do tan lines and fur in the same outfit make sense?

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Curtain swag

September 9, 2008 at 10:27 am (All White, Beaded, Draped, Sheer) (, , , , , , )

Oh, to be eighteen again. Fair hair. Dewy skin. And stinking filthy unbelievably rich from all the Harry Potter movies. The world is Emma Watson’s oyster.

So why dost thou wear my mother-in-law’s draped curtain swags? Sure, her curtains aren’t made by Alexander McQueen. They are probably polyester chiffon from JC Penney. But the resemblance is striking.

I’d actually like the dress a lot more without the draping along the top. The beading along the bodice is absolutely beautiful, and the draping in the skirt is tolerable (except perhaps for the front v).

The custom Alexander McQueen shoes scream– can you hear them screaming?– bad bridal shoe. You can never go wrong with silver and strappy. Stay away from the Marie Antoinette slippers.

Finally. With all affection. We love you. Emma, please lighten the color of your eyebrows.

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Cry for attention

September 2, 2008 at 9:24 am (All White, Deep V, Draped, Sashes, Sheer, Thandie Newton) (, , , , , , , )

It’s hard to get the photographers to notice you when Madonna and Guy Ritchie are also on the red carpet. But Thandie Newton didn’t need to resort to such drastic measures to get a little attention!

I’ll grant that the dress is edgy and dramatic. Given that the movie being premiered is Rocknrolla, dramatic makes sense.

The skirt is just crazy. How does one get into it? It’s like a hammock. Or harem pants, without the pants.

I’m giving two thumbs down to this outfit. As it seems critics are giving to Guy Ritchie’s movie. Can you believe he already has a sequel in the works?

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