Retro-Versace

July 7, 2008 at 4:46 pm (Asymmetrical, Celine Dion, Scarf) (, , , , )

Now, Versace designs have never been described as understated or subtle. But this Celine Dion bathing suit– with a matching sarong/scarf/cape, natch– seems a little excessive. It also feels a little too retro-Versace. Not in a timeless, classic, you’ll wear this piece for the rest of your life way. More of a Gianni’s over-the-top Miami Beach villa kind of way.

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You’re gonna be a star

July 3, 2008 at 1:42 pm (Asymmetrical, Draped, Kylie Minogue, Sequins) (, , , , )

Kylie, Kylie, Kylie. The childhood dream is to BE a star, not to WEAR a star. Or, worse yet, wear twenty multi-colored and sequined stars haphazardly strewn around your entire dress.

There’s a lot we Americans just don’t appreciate about Kylie Minogue. To us, she is just a pop one-hit-wonder from the late eighties known for her bubbly remake of Locomotion. [Sing it with me: Everybody’s doin a brand new dance now…c’mon baby, do the loco-motion…]

Due to her vast and significant contributions to the world of music, she was given an Order of the British Empire (OBE) award from Prince Charles yesterday. She is only an Officer, though, and hasn’t made the cut to Commander or Knight. Yet.

Kylie, please know that our fingers are crossed for you. C’mon, baby!

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Paris fashion week

July 2, 2008 at 11:49 am (Asymmetrical, Draped, Liv Tyler, Polka Dots) (, , , , )

Paris fashion week is so fun. New York may have taken over as the center of the modern fashion world, but  Paris is still tops in terms of overall chicness per capita. Plus, they’ve got croissants.

Liv Tyler looked fab-u-lous yesterday in John Galliano. Unfortunately, she appeared today in this Givenchy confusion. There are parts that I really like, but the totality is too much of a jumbled mess. Let’s look at the scorecard.

REALLY LIKED:
– Knot at the neckline
– Bodice
– Graphic material
– Shoes

JUMBLED MESS:
– Single sleeve (at a minimum, it is too long. I think I’d like the look overall if the single sleeve was completely gone)
– Skirt draping (I like the asymmetry, but am not completely sold on the papoose draping look)
– Hair and makeup (It looks a little like she overslept for school and quickly pulled her hair back. And doesn’t she look a lot like Alanis Morissette?)

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Baby diapers

July 1, 2008 at 12:34 pm (Asymmetrical, Draped, Jennifer Lopez, Sashes) (, , , , )

This is classic: Marc Anthony received an honorary award from the Town Council of Milan, Italy, for his contributions on music. There is good government in action.

JLo was on hand to “support her husband” for this tremendous honor. Whatever. I think she’s been changing too many baby diapers. The color of this dress is just atrocious. Unless you want to look like a seventies curtain, you should pass.

PS Is there a little bit of girdle peeking out?

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Who stole my cheese?

June 17, 2008 at 4:35 pm (All Black, Asymmetrical, Kelly Osbourne, Mischa Barton, Sequins, Tights) (, )

I am not feeling the love on this outfit that Kelly Osbourne wore to the Viktor & Rolf private showing in London. It seems a little too Minnie-Mouse-attacked-by-moth-balls-while-watching-Flashdance-for-the-107th-time. It’s a bad day when Mischa Barton’s outfit is better than yours!

In all fairness (not that we are known for fairness!?), I am trying to figure out what you could put under this tunic to make it look good. Perhaps Kelly has made it look as good as it can get.

 

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Fierce-less

June 16, 2008 at 1:44 pm (All Black, Asymmetrical, Christian Siriano, Necklace, Ruffles, Whoopi Goldberg) (, , )

I don’t expect high fashion from the Tony Awards. And certainly not from Whoopi Goldberg. But when I heard that Christian Siriano (love him!) was designing a dress for Whoopi, my hopes were elevated a bit. Then I saw his sketches (sob). And then I saw the dress itself (sob, wail, gnash teeth).

The dress was really very pedestrian. I get that Whoopi isn’t the easiest to dress, but this is really very mother-of-the-bride (as Project Runway judge Michael Kors would say). The dress has none of the edge and swagger we expected from Christian. It is just a boring, black, ruffly mullet dress. Snore.

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An off day

May 14, 2008 at 7:42 pm (All Black, Asymmetrical, Draped, Necklace) ()

Naomi Watts is gorgeous. Stunning. She normally looks fabulous. And I know she had a baby recently. But that is not a good enough reason for this ensemble.

The dress does absolutely NOTHING for her figure. The shapeless form, the low slub belt, the asymmetrical hem, the shiny fabric. Yeesh.

And why would you pair a gold necklace and a gold belt buckle with silver gladiator flats? I’m not a big fan of the flat sandal craze in general, but this even worse.

Her hair is blah, blah, blah. I don’t like it all on one side with this partiular dress, and the brittle split ends don’t help matters. We’ll chalk this one up to an “off day,” and hope she goes back to the drawing board.

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