Romper room

July 18, 2008 at 10:44 am (Ashanti, Baby Doll, Belt) (, , , , , )

I believe that most people should gravitate towards clothes that are chic, streamlined, and figure-flattering. There are some people who succeed with quirkier, flashier, or edgier looks. Gwen Stefani comes to mind. Kate Moss can do it well. Sienna Miller used to be good at it too (although she spends most her time topless lately). But for most people, quirkier, flashier or edgier usually goes awry into trashy, odd, and just downright bad.

There isn’t anything hugely wrong with Ashanti’s outfit. There just isn’t anything hugely right about it either. The wide straps evoke a grade school romper, rather than a sophisticated lady. The pattern just feels messy and confusing (Is it edgy and black? Is it pastels and feminine?) The bubble skirt gets a bit lost in the print, so she just looks wide and bottom-heavy. And the bright blue shoes neither match nor contrast.

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You say it’s your birthday

July 3, 2008 at 4:16 pm (Baby Doll, Hat, Lace, Lindsay Lohan, Tuxedo) (, , , , )

Awwwwwww. Here she comes. Here’s our cute little girl, all already for the Prom. Our little LiLo has sure grown up fast, hasn’t she? Wait here while Daddy gets a picture of your date pinning a corsage on your dress. Oh. Oops. Hmmm. Your date’s a she. In a tuxedo. And she’s busy smoking her cig right now. That’s OK. Mommy can roll with that, and Daddy can get a picture next time. No problem, sweetie. Don’t worry.

Wow, sweetie, your dress is sure a blend of precious and skank. That’s a lot of boobie for the prom, isn’t it honey? And why do you look so PO’d? What’s wrong, sweetie? You should be happy on your prom birthday! You’re such a big girl now. Don’t worry that you might have another baby sister to support because of your irresponsible and skirt-chasing daddy. It’s OK. Just have a nice time at the Prom, and be sure to make home in time for your curfew, OK?

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