ARGyle

April 2, 2009 at 2:57 pm (Argyle, Buttons, Cardigan, Michelle Obama, Necklace, Pleated) (, , , , , , )

Michelle Obama followed Jackie-O’s fashion footsteps across the pond. Has she been a little more casual than I would suggest? Perhaps. But she’s also been looking fresh and classy and fabulous.

Today’s outfit I just don’t get. First and foremost, it does not match. And I think it was intended to match. The shoe, dress and cardigan colors are all off, and not it a quirky “this doesn’t match but it goes together” way, but in a “she really wants these to all the the same color but they aren’t.”

And what is the deal with the sweater? Besides being off-buttoned (is that on purpose?) and manically argyled (the left sleeve, which you can’t see here, is also argyle), it just isn’t appealing.

While I love that she is rewearing the inaguration Jimmy Choo shoes, I didn’t think the green color worked on inaguration day and I don’t think they work today.

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Is this an outfit

March 16, 2009 at 11:20 am (Buttons, Cardigan, Deep V, Liv Tyler, Pockets, Sheer) (, , , , , , )

I’m not sure I can even call this an outfit.

Doesn’t it look like Liv Tyler threw a cardigan over her nightie to grab the newspaper off the front stoop?

Or perhaps she’s recreating the final scene from Bridget Jones’s Diary, where Bridget is chases after Mark Darcy in her tiny undies after he reads the unflattering comments in her diary.

Either way, this just isn’t an outfit.

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YMCA

March 6, 2009 at 10:54 am (Belt, Buttons, Fergie, Hat, Military, Victoria Beckham) (, , , , , , )

I know the last Spice Girls tour didn’t go so well. Did Victoria Beckham decide to join the Village People instead?

I love/covet/worship the Valentino bag (although Fergie’s in cream was even better), but the rest of this dumpy gray montage can go. Especially the atrocious hat/sunglasses combo. Yikes!

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QVC

December 11, 2008 at 1:15 pm (Bangles, Belt, Buttons, Clutch, Costume, Metallic, Military, Paula Abdul, Ruffles, Sequins, Shiny) (, , , , , )

Sweet Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

Is this how you have to dress to sell jewelry of QVC? Or is Paula Abdul competing in the Michael Jackson dress-alike contest?

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Something nice

December 10, 2008 at 11:04 am (Bows, Buttons, Diane Kruger, High Waisted, Jumpsuit, Tuxedo) (, , , , , , )

Mama always said, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” So here goes something nice: “I like Diane Kruger’s shoes.”

Shit, that’s no fun. I mean, look at her Chanel outfit. And her enthusiastic facial expression. I’d have that look, too, if I looked four years old in a jumpsuit featuring bow tie and satin high-waisted pants.

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Being kind

September 17, 2008 at 1:13 pm (Belt, Buttons, Clutch, Jumpsuit, Shiny, Shorts) (, , , , , , )

A posting described this Stella McCartney outfit as a “romper.” I think that is being kind. Unless “romper” is the new code word for a wrinkled-parachute-buttoned-up-shapeless-colorless-shorts-outfit-with-pockets-slapped-on-the thighs. If so, then I completely agree! Spot-on description.

Can I say that I am really tired of Kate Hudson? I am not passionate enough about her to spout off in an emotionally-charged fashion (like I did about JLo on Monday). But I’ve had enough of the spunkiness, the goofiness, the isn’t-it-weird-how-I’m-my-mother’s-identical-clone-ness, the I-kissed-another-boy-while-playing-tennis-because-I-don’t-believe-in-monogamy-ness, and the my-son-really-WANTS-his-hair-to-be-this-long-ness.

And mostly, I’m just tired that every single movie she is in seems EXACTLY the same. Tell me *how* exactly Fool’s Gold differed from Raising Helen differed from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days? Cuz I swear she was playing the exact same role in each and every one of those movies.

Oh, wait. I guess I am passionate enough to spout off in an emotionally-charged fashion.

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Wound up tight

August 12, 2008 at 2:23 pm (Belt, Buttons, Stripes) (, , , , , )

I think that Victoria Beckham is very fashionable. But she doesn’t often look very comfortable. Maybe it’s because she isn’t much of a smiler. Maybe it’s the sharp edges of her haircut. Maybe it’s her skeletal body. Or maybe it’s all those reason’s rolled into one. But she usually doesn’t look very comfy– she looks wound up tight.

Take this dress, for example. She is just going out for a Sunday night dinner. It isn’t a runway show. And how can she expect to eat anything (not that she eats much anyways) with that mega-belt?

Beyond looking rigidly uncomfortable, I don’t think all that sacrafice is worth it for *this* dress. I completely understand putting up with some pain for a great dress or some killer shoes. But this combo is neither great nor killer.

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