Bruno oh no

September 17, 2008 at 7:42 pm (Bows, Charlize Theron, Clutch, Gladiator Sandal, Plaid) (, , , , , , )

Charlize Theron’s Vanessa Bruno dress is definitely a fashion don’t.

It looks like Martha Stewart dyed a worn-out homemade dress in a tea bath and then glue gunned a light blue ribbon to the crotch.

It’s not a good thing.

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Good dresses, dresses, and then…

June 19, 2008 at 3:04 pm (Charlize Theron, Deep V, Floral, Fur, Stretch) ()

Charlize Theron has been *everywhere* promoting Hancock. Apparently, according to the trailer, there are heros, there are superheros, and then there is Hancock. An apt analogy for this dress, only this dress sinks rather than sings.

Although not attached at the hip, it seems that she and Will Smith are attached at the neck. But she has been looking pretty fabulous bouncing around Europe (I loved, loved, loved the white dress with the deep V and bubble skirt she wore in Paris). Playing it as edgy as she does, she is bound to misstep on occasion. Like in this Giambattista Valli dress.

The neck wrap is downright scary. Like she is being attacked by celosia plants, or she has raging case of eczema that needs ointment. Badly. The print on the dress itself seems screen printed. Or like that cosmic shrink wrap material can wrap an entire bus.

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Punk seamstress

June 2, 2008 at 9:46 am (Charlize Theron, Corset, Leggings, Metallic, Stretch) ()

Maybe Charlize Theron decided to come to the MTV Awards at the last minute. Or maybe she wanted to look like the charter member of the punk rock/seamstress union. But this outfit is not up to the usual standards we see from her.

The bustier looks like a metallic dress form. But most of all — it is too small, and does nothing to enhance her cleavage. The snug fit of the leggings and the bustier make her look wide in the hips.

(Charlize does get an A+ on the accessories. We especially love the shoes!)

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Purple People Eaters

May 13, 2008 at 8:05 pm (Charlize Theron, Deep V, Ruffles) ()

Charlize, Charlize, Charlize!? Where did you go wrong? We expect so much more from you! You’re normally spot-on, but this Christian Dior number is all wrong. We know you *had* to wear Christian Dior (you are a spokeswoman, after all), and we know you like haute couture. But did you look in the mirror?

The color is good on her, but the silhouette is horrible. It makes her boyish frame look boxy. Maybe I’d like the skirt better at floor length. I don’t like the pilgrim-buckle on the square yellow pumps. And her hair looks over-shellacked, under dyed, and too helmet-like to go with the dress.

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