Sheer disaster

January 12, 2009 at 2:51 pm (All Black, Corset, Cut-outs, Renee Zellweger, Sheer) (, , , , , , , )

The other wince dress of the Golden Globes for me was Renee Zellweger. Usually I love Carolina Herrera. And I like to concept of this look. I don’t know what went with the execution. I think there is too much going on. And it’s bad.

I like the sheer top and corset concept. But it is overwrought with the mock neck, the pegged sleeves, and the mermaid skirt. Then you add Renee’s always-odd red carpet contortionist posing style and the ponytail extension hairdo, and any effort at elegance or minimalism is out the window.

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October 3, 2008 at 4:56 pm (All Black, Corset, Leather, Leggings, Lingerie, Stephanie Seymour) (, , , , , , , )

We really don’t need to see more of Stephanie Seymour’s outfit at yesterday’s Yves Saint Laurent show. The outfit is a mish-mash of looks and trends, and honestly it just doesn’t seem to fit her personality or age.

Skirt and leggings? You need to be a little younger. Gathered corseted leather Azzedine Alaia skirt? You need to be a little edgier. Sheer black top and peek-a-boo bra? You need to be a little Britnier. No make up? You need to be a little tanner. All together, you need to be a little more cohesive-ier.

Sure, I know cohesive-ier isn’t a word. But you get the idea. This look has no cohesiveness or clear point of view. Whatsoever.

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Holy dress, spider woman

August 10, 2008 at 4:12 pm (All Black, Bijou Phillips, Clutch, Corset, Deep V, Ruffles, Sheer) (, , , , , , )

I first saw this dress from the back and thought, “Cute dress. Great shoes. Who is Bijou Phillips again?” Then I saw a photo from the front and thought, “Crazy web, spider woman. Great shoes. Who is Bijou Phillips again?”

Perhaps this dress proves that even bad attention is at least some attention. If that is her goal, then a spider web corset under a plunging v-neck dress is just the thing. Unless she is trying out for the part of Morticia Addams, there is no other explanation.

PS Did we mention that the shoes are great?

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Don’t anger Nina

July 25, 2008 at 2:15 pm (Corset, Rose McGowan, Shiny, Strapless) (, , , , , )

On Wednesday night’s Project Runway, the admirable Nina Garcia said that short, tight and shiny are the quickest ways to look cheap.

Hmmmm…I guess Rose McGowan didn’t see that episode, huh? This Dolce and Gabbana dress is reminiscent of the dress that Wesley got auf’d for. Just as shiny. Just as short. Just as tight. Wesley’s fabric was “green,” and Rose’s dress is an atrocious sea foam green.

Yep, that shows it’s just as trashy. I’d say it’s actually a lot worse.

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Snooze, she loses

July 9, 2008 at 11:37 am (Chloe Sevigny, Corset, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

I’ve never been wild about Chloe Sevigny. I’m not really sure why, but I’ve never been enamored. Even after Boys Don’t Cry, when she was supposed to be the greatest thing since sliced bread, I shook my puzzled head and asked, “Why?”

Obviously, fashion is subjective. Especially when someone has a reputation as a trend setter. Those are big shoes to fill. For every successful look Sienna Miller, Kate Moss or the Olsen twins put together, there will be many more outfits that don’t quite catch on.

Chloe Sevigny was supposed to be one of those trendsetters. I never saw it, but I sure as heck don’t see it now. This outfit is (pardon me while I yawn) booo-ring. Like 1986-Madonna-with-a-matronly-twist boring. Like clown-pants-after-the-flood boring. Like prom-purse-from-TJ Maxx boring. You get the idea. I can get back to my Chloe-Sevigny-is-so-gosh-darned-boring nap now.

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Metallic sausage

June 25, 2008 at 9:48 am (Corset, Jennifer Hudson, Metallic, Strapless) (, , )

I am a big advocate of fuller-figured gals wearing fitted clothes. But this takes it a bit far. Jennifer Hudson looks like she can’t even breathe in this dress. Poor girl!

A few comments on the plus side: The color is lovely and the vertical stripes are slimming. But on the downside, the skirt feels a tad long and, oh yeah, it is TOO SMALL! Ripples along the waist and hips will never look good, her poor maracas are screaming for a little air, and her hairdo is dismal.

JHud does much better when she isn’t trying to be Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Punk seamstress

June 2, 2008 at 9:46 am (Charlize Theron, Corset, Leggings, Metallic, Stretch) ()

Maybe Charlize Theron decided to come to the MTV Awards at the last minute. Or maybe she wanted to look like the charter member of the punk rock/seamstress union. But this outfit is not up to the usual standards we see from her.

The bustier looks like a metallic dress form. But most of all — it is too small, and does nothing to enhance her cleavage. The snug fit of the leggings and the bustier make her look wide in the hips.

(Charlize does get an A+ on the accessories. We especially love the shoes!)

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