Teese
I get that Dita Von Teese is going for a particular look. And that her look is inherently costumey. I can live with that on her.
But what on God’s green earth is she wearing on her head?
Happy Golden Globes, Mr. President
Overall, I was surprised how fussy most of the dresses were at last night’s Golden Globes. In these difficult times, I thought the looks would veer toward sleek and simple. Boy, was I wrong! Instead, ladies brought out the triple arsenal of glitter, bling and big hair.
I had two actual wince moments. Here is the first: Drew Barrymore. I didn’t hate the John Galliano dress per se, but I did not like the overall Marilyn Monroe sexpot look. It felt far too literal, too stale, and too heavy handed. Can’t you just *smell* all the Aqua Net?
QVC
Sweet Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
Is this how you have to dress to sell jewelry of QVC? Or is Paula Abdul competing in the Michael Jackson dress-alike contest?
Mojo
I *really* want Salma Hayek to get her mojo back.
Where is the va-va-voom? I don’t see it in this Stella McCartney dress. Sure, the event had a twenties feel. But I think the color makes her look washed out, the fit does nothing to highlight her tremendous assets, and the beaded skull cap is just awkward.
On the plus side, she has moved away from her previous Morticia-Addams-cover-every-inch-of-skin looks. Perhaps we should just be pleased with progress.
Emmy let down
We have two examples on the Emmy red carpet don’t list today.
First, America Ferrara normally is on our A list, and she simply faltered this time around. I love her in color with a fitted silhouette. Why she deviated from that magic formula, I’m not sure. But I am real sure that it didn’t look good.
The vintage Werle dress is too voluminous for her, especially with the ruching. The heavy necklace, dark color, and long hair just weighed her down more. We look forward to a better attempt next time, America. Remember that color and fun are your friends!
Christina DeRosa, on the other hand, falters regularly. I think she confuses the red carpet with a Halloween party, and loves to make every look into a costume. If she can show off the girls in the process, even better!
This is just a bad senorita stereotype all around. From the ridiculous fan color to the clutch purse to the tacky platform shoes. Worst off all, the look says cheap, cheap, cheap. Ugh. There aren’t even words.
Ice capades
Given that I don’t read look at Playboy (and given I don’t live in the UK), I’m not very familiar with Katie Price (also known as Jordan). So imagine my disbelief when I saw this photo today.
She isn’t in the ice capades. She isn’t competing in the Miss anything contest. She isn’t a Vegas showgirl. She is in a flipping BORDERS store.
I drag myself into to a Borders wearing track pants and a t-shirt. I’m lucky if they are clean and relatively un-wrinkled. I definitely don’t weary a feather shrug, sequined stirrup-sleeves, and leggings emblazoned with a crotch medallion. Oh, yeah, and don’t forget the tiara.
Spiderwoman
Stage costumes can be held to slightly different standards that red carpet fashion. Nonetheless, that is the deal with this costume on Kylie Minogue? There is no where (on this planet, at least) that this dress is fashionable. In fact, none of the separate elements are even fashionable. Unless you are the drag queen captain of Battlestar Galactica.
Let’s look first at the flesh colored leotard under the dress. Unless you are figure skater and don’t want to flash the cameras during your triple-salchow-into-a-double-lutz combo, you shouldn’t wear an outfit that needs–much less shows–a flesh colored leotard.
Then we have the sheer, diaphanous skirt which evokes a bad I Dream of Genie memory. Topped of by the odd ribbon pattern on her chest. Is it meant to accentuate her sternum? Highlight her rib cage? Be a purple map for open heart surgery? And the best accessory for this look? Why, opera length gold gloves, of course!
Flapper falls flat
There is a huge difference between being inspired by a look and taking the look to far. Usually, that is the difference between looking good and looking bad.
Granted, this dress isn’t great. The shapeless bodice, fish tail and bland beige-gray color aren’t easy to wear.
But add the slicked-down pin-curl hairdo and we move into the realm of costume.
