Dress mess

February 23, 2009 at 1:58 pm (Amy Adams, Draped, Necklace, Strapless, Stripes) (, , , , , , , , )

This is one mess of a look, Amy Adams. If you paid someone to help you put this together, you should ask for a refund. Pronto. Seriously.

I’m not crazy about the Carolina Herrera dress.  I’d says stripes or sheer, but not both. And doesn’t it look like a magician is doing a trick by pulling out a long sheer scarf from between her boobs?

But the necklace/bib is what makes me crazy. The necklace isn’t exactly my style, but I can see it with a simple dress so the necklace pops. Put it with one of the gazillon colorless dresses on the Oscar red carpet and you’re set. But don’t pair it with a red striped chiffony dress!

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On Garde

February 23, 2009 at 11:01 am (Beaded, Draped, Reese Witherspoon, Sashes) (, , , , , , , , , )

I’ll be the first to admit that Rodarte is my my cup of tea. I am not edgy or avant garde. But I can appreciate it on a Natalie Portman or Tilda Swinton.

But I almost fell out off the couch when I saw Reese Witherspoon in Rodarte at last night’s Oscars. Really? Sweet Home Alabama? June Carter Cash? Elle Woods? In Rodarte?

More than incompatibility, though, was the fact that this dress does absolutely nothing for Reese. I don’t understand the straps. Or the bodice.  Or the random light blue chunk of hem.

Get Nina Ricci back on your speed dial!

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Why the fuss?

January 26, 2009 at 2:10 pm (Beaded, Clutch, Draped, Eva Longoria, Necklace, Pastels, Ruffles, Sheer) (, , , , , , , )

Eva Longoria Parker went from her Golden Globes fashion high to this SAG awards lowest of lows. Her red Golden Globes dress was simple, sleek and streamlined. This look….aaah…umm…isn’t.

Eva, why all the fuss? You are 5’2″ tall. I say avoid the flounce and flourish when you are that height.  And, unless you are literally performing a triple lutz that minute on ice, there is no reason for a built-in-necklace-with-sheer-overlay.

The whole look is giving me an orange sherbet push-up brain freeze.

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Happy Golden Globes, Mr. President

January 12, 2009 at 11:22 am (Clutch, Costume, Draped, Drew Barrymore, Sheer) (, , , , , , , )

Overall, I was surprised how fussy most of the dresses were at last night’s Golden Globes. In these difficult times, I thought the looks would veer toward sleek and simple. Boy, was I wrong! Instead, ladies brought out the triple arsenal of glitter, bling and big hair.

I had two actual wince moments. Here is the first: Drew Barrymore. I didn’t hate the John Galliano dress per se, but I did not like the overall Marilyn Monroe sexpot look. It felt far too literal, too stale, and too heavy handed. Can’t you just *smell* all the Aqua Net?

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Trompe l’oeil

December 23, 2008 at 9:41 am (Belt, Draped, Paris Hilton, Suits) (, , , , , , )

In architecture, this shirt would be a trompe l’oeil. Given that it’s Paris, though, should it be a tramp l’oeil?

I think this is what Fred Flinstone would wear if he had to wear a suit– cartoonish and silly. And the skirt, tights and shoes are dullsville.

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Mad plaid

November 24, 2008 at 8:11 pm (Boots, Cardigan, Draped, Katie Holmes, Plaid, Ruffles, Suri Cruise) (, , , , , , )

I really thought/hoped/dreamed/prayed we were past the full length tartan plaid look. Sure, I get that the kid likes to wear dresses and refuses to wear pants. Does that mean that mom has to wear a big, full, ruffled, shapeless dress too? Suri’s dress and cardigan are way cuter than this ensemble.

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You got me at the bangs

November 14, 2008 at 3:17 pm (All Black, Brooch, Draped, Jessica Alba, Necklace) (, , , , , , )

I can hardly look past Jessica Alba’s  bangs to see the Gucci dress.

Are we really going to try this bang thing? It didn’t work for Katie Holmes. It didn’t work for Christina Aguilera. Sure, it looks cute on Suri, but she also still wears a diaper. So, Jessica, I don’t recommend keeping this hair style.

As for the dress, it is OK. Kinda bleeech, but OK. If I worked to have my body look that good, no way would I choose a drapey, slouchy, bunchy black number.

I know that statement vintage accessories are all the rage, but it kinda looks a frilly pocket watch chain. All she needs is a smoking jacket and a monocle.

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Eternal question

November 13, 2008 at 5:48 pm (All White, Beaded, Draped, Fergie, Sequins, Tights) (, , , , , , )

Sure, “is so-and-so pregnant?” is the eternal Hollywood question. The minute someone sports a little paunch in their size -2 frame, everyone things they’re preggers.

But seriously…is Fergie pregnant? Look at these recent photos. Her washboard abs seem less washboardy, and the girls are absolutely enormous.

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Mullet

October 30, 2008 at 10:10 am (Belt, Draped, Gemma Arterton, Ruffles, Strapless) (, , , , , , )

I am not a fan of mullets. In hair or in clothes. Then again, I am not really a fan of Bond films. So I was predestined to dislike Gemma Arterton’s Balmain dress at the recent Bond premiere.

The dress is a little ice-capades-meets-WWF. The dress (especially from the front) looks like a figure skating costume. The studded shoes and middle-weight-champion belt give the WWF edge. And the full train just makes it odd.

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Clown pants

October 21, 2008 at 10:30 am (Draped, Maria Menounos, Necklace, Tank, Wide pant) (, , , , , , )

I like the look of a wide pant as much as the next person. It can look very elegant in a Marlene Dietrich, androgynous, exaggerated proportion way.

But Maria Menounos is wearing a *really* wide pant. To the extreme. And I’m not sure it works.

I love the top and the necklace. I even like the jacket. The pants just don’t wow me. Maybe because they are wrinkled. Maybe they are just too drapey. Maybe the waistband looks too casual. Maybe I’d like it with a belt. I dunno. But I’m just not wowed.

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