Slip up

October 14, 2008 at 11:26 am (Asymmetrical, Beaded, Clutch, Draped, Rachel Weisz, Shiny) (, , , , , , , )

Normally I love Rachel Weisz. She always looks classic and elegant, but with a little sultry twist.

I was a bit disappointed in this Narciso Rodriguez dress. I don’t hate it, but the top seems incongruous withe the bottom.

The top says LBD with the tight beaded bodice and a slight bondage/choking vibe. Then the bottom has a wispy ethereal quality that doesn’t make sense with the top.

Finally, the wisp of slip at her thigh just makes me think of my grandmother saying, “Do you think she knows her slip is showing?”

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Batik sling

September 25, 2008 at 5:59 pm (Asymmetrical, Draped, Kristen Bell, Stripes) (, , , , , , )

Kristen Bell seems to be sporting a rainbow batik boob sling. Perhaps a rainbow is appropriate forand event called Outfest, but it that don’t make it good fashion.

I feel like I’m drunk and staring at tv test screen. “This is a test of the Emergency Fashion Broadcast system. If this had been an actual fashion emergency, the signal you just heard would be followed by official fashion information, news or instruction.”

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Opera fan

September 23, 2008 at 9:56 am (Bows, Draped, Necklace, Parker Posey, Shiny) (, , , , , , )

Does anyone really like opera? I would be shocked if 1% of the western world actually liked opera. But perhaps I am just not cultured enough.

The best and brightest showed up for last night’s 125th Opening Night Gala of the Metropolitan Opera photo op. And knock me silly, 15 year-old Taylor Momsen is an opera fan! (Unless she had it confused with a Jonas Brothers concert?)

Anyhoo, Parker Posey showed up looking like the love child between Rumer Willis and Little Bo Peep. The Zac Posen dress is a blousey, flowy, bowey, pastel mess. And the cotton ball tote really pushes it past any legal limits of cuteness.

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Emmy let down

September 22, 2008 at 10:01 am (All Black, All White, America Ferrara, Christina DeRosa, Clutch, Costume, Draped, Necklace, Ruffles, Shiny) (, , , , , , , , )

We have two examples on the Emmy red carpet don’t list today.

First, America Ferrara normally is on our A list, and she simply faltered this time around. I love her in color with a fitted silhouette. Why she deviated from that magic formula, I’m not sure. But I am real sure that it didn’t look good.

The vintage Werle dress is too voluminous for her, especially with the ruching. The heavy necklace, dark color, and long hair just weighed her down more. We look forward to a better attempt next time, America. Remember that color and fun are your friends!

Christina DeRosa, on the other hand, falters regularly. I think she confuses the red carpet with a Halloween party, and loves to make every look into a costume. If she can show off the girls in the process, even better!

This is just a bad senorita stereotype all around. From the ridiculous fan color to the clutch purse to the tacky platform shoes. Worst off all, the look says cheap, cheap, cheap. Ugh. There aren’t even words.

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Curtain swag

September 9, 2008 at 10:27 am (All White, Beaded, Draped, Sheer) (, , , , , , )

Oh, to be eighteen again. Fair hair. Dewy skin. And stinking filthy unbelievably rich from all the Harry Potter movies. The world is Emma Watson’s oyster.

So why dost thou wear my mother-in-law’s draped curtain swags? Sure, her curtains aren’t made by Alexander McQueen. They are probably polyester chiffon from JC Penney. But the resemblance is striking.

I’d actually like the dress a lot more without the draping along the top. The beading along the bodice is absolutely beautiful, and the draping in the skirt is tolerable (except perhaps for the front v).

The custom Alexander McQueen shoes scream– can you hear them screaming?– bad bridal shoe. You can never go wrong with silver and strappy. Stay away from the Marie Antoinette slippers.

Finally. With all affection. We love you. Emma, please lighten the color of your eyebrows.

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The little mermaid

September 5, 2008 at 10:39 am (Anne Hathaway, Draped, Necklace, Pastels, Ruffles, Strapless) (, , , , , , )

There are a handful of celebrities who have the persona to match this dress. Charlize. Nicole. I think Anne looks a tad timid yet.

Of course it is a whopper of a dress. If you like full-on drama, then you’ll love this Atelier Versace gown. I’m not sold 100%. It’s like a sideways mullet– mini-dress on her left, frou frou train trailing to her right.

And the color feels a little washed-out against her skin, unless you count the seafoam green crinolines. And the ruffle swirls make me hum “Under the Sea” while swaying back and forth in my hoop dress.

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Cry for attention

September 2, 2008 at 9:24 am (All White, Deep V, Draped, Sashes, Sheer, Thandie Newton) (, , , , , , , )

It’s hard to get the photographers to notice you when Madonna and Guy Ritchie are also on the red carpet. But Thandie Newton didn’t need to resort to such drastic measures to get a little attention!

I’ll grant that the dress is edgy and dramatic. Given that the movie being premiered is Rocknrolla, dramatic makes sense.

The skirt is just crazy. How does one get into it? It’s like a hammock. Or harem pants, without the pants.

I’m giving two thumbs down to this outfit. As it seems critics are giving to Guy Ritchie’s movie. Can you believe he already has a sequel in the works?

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Lemon fresh

August 26, 2008 at 6:09 pm (Beaded, Draped, Eva Mendes, Maxi-dress, Sheer, Strapless) (, , , , , , )

There are a few mysteries in the world, and we may never know the answers. Is there alien life form? How were the pyramids built? Is there really a Santa Claus? And why…oh why!?…do people want to wear maxi-dresses?

I can confidently say that I will *never* wear a maxi-dress. Here’s why: I am neither tall nor rail thin. I like McDonald’s french fries and dislike running for miles and miles. There’s a spectrum between a supermodel in a maxi-dress and a woman wearing a muumuu and using an electric scooter in the local Wal-mart. And I certainly have never been mistaken for a supermodel.

There are a few scenarios where I can relax my anti-maxi-dress stance: 1) on the beach or spa, when it is a cover-up, 2) On a plane, when it is for comfort and ease, or 3.) after major abdominal surgery or during pregnancy, when a waistband is more difficult.

I do not like maxi-dresses as red carpet wear. Imagine some of our best style icons– Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Coco Chanel, or Jackie O. Would they *ever* wear a maxi-dress? I. Don’t. Think. So. And for good reason.

Look at Eva Mendes’ recent rendition. First of all, it is a sheer maxi-dress overlay with a fitted corset lining. So this flowy number isn’t any more comfortable than a tight-fitting strapless dress. Then we have the color yellow–which I think is the most difficult color in the entire palette to wear. It looks good on virtually no one.  And then we have the beads, which remind me of a bad seventies door hanging.

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Does that make me crazy? Possibly.

August 26, 2008 at 9:47 am (Beyonce, Boots, Denim, Draped, Feathers, Kim Kardashian, Necklace, Solange Knowles, T-Shirt) (, , , , , , , , , )

It must be hard to be Beyonce’s little sister. The lady is super-beautiful, super-talented, and (apparently) super-nice. She can sing, she can dance, she can act…she’s got it all.

Since Beyonce has taken all those superlatives for herself, it seems that Solange Knowles decided to go for the last descriptive left… crazy.

To her credit, Solange completely excels at crazy. The girl *owns* crazy. Hook, line and sinker. Case in point: her get up for last night’s Letterman appearance. Is she for real? A topshop feather bolero jacket? A ten-pound gold chain? And schizophrenic booties?

It is a sad day when Kim Kardashian shows up looking twenty times classier.

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Yay or nay?

August 22, 2008 at 12:07 pm (Asymmetrical, Belt, Brooch, Draped, Lucy Liu, Melanie Brown, Ruffles, Sequins, Shiny) (, , , , , , , , )

I already know how I’ll be voting in November, but I am undecided on this dress that Lucy Liu wore to the Barack Obama Black and White Gala last night.

On one hand, I like it soooo much more than Melanie Brown’s tacky too tight, too shiny, too low, too sparkly dress. But I am not sure that liking it more than Mel B’s dress means that I like it overall. I mean, I’d like a flour sack better than Mel B’s dress.

I like the the top of Lucy Liu’s dress. The belt and brooch are tolerable. The draping of the skirt along the waist is very pretty. But the draped mermaid tail at the bottom makes her look like a tootsie roll wrapper. And can we once-and-for-all retire the Heidi braided headband hairstyle? Pleeeeeezzzzeeeee?

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