Panama Jack

July 15, 2008 at 9:46 am (Clutch, Diane Kruger, Hat, High Waisted, Tank) (, , , , )

Diane Kruger looks like she is ready for a remake of Romancing the Stone, rather than a stylish soiree. Most of the guests at Longchamp’s 60th anniversary party were wearing chic cocktail dresses. Ms. Kruger strolled in with this get-up instead.

I don’t get this look. Honestly, I can’t even figure out what kind of look she is going for here. Does she want beachy-eighties-retro? Havana-flashdance-mega pants? If you can figure it out, you are a lot smarter than me…

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Off key

July 9, 2008 at 1:33 pm (Alicia Keys, Belt, Denim, Hat, Leather, Scarf) (, , , , )

Dear Diary,

London’s awesome in the summer. I’m so glad I have a show here tonight. It’s about sunny and 63 degrees (that’s about 17 degrees for my Celsius diary readers). Let’s catch some sites. Big Ben. Tower of London. London Eye. Those silly double-decker buses. Love ’em all.

What to wear. What. To. Wear. Hmmm. I do want to fit in, you know. Regular person on the street. Don’t want people staring.

I *am* feeling a bit biker-chick-chic today. Let’s try my grey jeans and my toasty warm lined leather jacket. Fierce. What if I get too cold? I have to keep my throat warmed and ready to sing. Got it! How about my black Louis Vuitton bib– I mean scarf. Perfect. Plus, if I decide to have a whole lobster for lunch, I’ll be all set. No dripped butter on this t-shirt. Let’s add my trucker cap and fake-police-badge-belt. If I pull my belt to the side, I’ll look jaunty. Those crazy Brits like jaunty, right?

Perfect. Dude. Good. To. Go. Peace-out.

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You say it’s your birthday

July 3, 2008 at 4:16 pm (Baby Doll, Hat, Lace, Lindsay Lohan, Tuxedo) (, , , , )

Awwwwwww. Here she comes. Here’s our cute little girl, all already for the Prom. Our little LiLo has sure grown up fast, hasn’t she? Wait here while Daddy gets a picture of your date pinning a corsage on your dress. Oh. Oops. Hmmm. Your date’s a she. In a tuxedo. And she’s busy smoking her cig right now. That’s OK. Mommy can roll with that, and Daddy can get a picture next time. No problem, sweetie. Don’t worry.

Wow, sweetie, your dress is sure a blend of precious and skank. That’s a lot of boobie for the prom, isn’t it honey? And why do you look so PO’d? What’s wrong, sweetie? You should be happy on your prom birthday! You’re such a big girl now. Don’t worry that you might have another baby sister to support because of your irresponsible and skirt-chasing daddy. It’s OK. Just have a nice time at the Prom, and be sure to make home in time for your curfew, OK?

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Good ship lollypop

June 20, 2008 at 11:31 am (Deep V, Hat, Pastels, Rihanna, Ruffles, Vest) (, )

This skirt is utterly ridiculous. There is no other way to describe it. Is she a conductor on the Good Ship Lollypop? Or the cruise director for the gay carnival cruise to Barbados?

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