Melting sno-cone

August 1, 2008 at 4:15 pm (Draped, Headband, Katy Perry, Pastels, Shiny) (, , , , , )

Dear Diary:

The County Fair is so much fun. I put on my kickiest tan sundress and a cute teal ribbon in my hair. But you will NOT believe what happened next!? I was on the tilt-a-whirl eating my rainbow sno-cone, when lo and behold the sno-cone spilled all over the seat. As we tilted and whirled, it got ALL OVER my kicky tan sundress.

OMG!!! What should I do? I have to play at the Lollapalooza concert later! Whatever. I am a chameleon and can adapt to any situation. I’ll just show up and pretend that my dress was supposed to look like a melted pasted dessert confection.

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July 17, 2008 at 11:53 am (All Black, Corsage, Draped, Headband, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Shiny) (, , , , , )

Maggie Gyllenhaal, oh how you tease us. You usually show up braless in some quirky caftan outfit from 1942. Then you come to the Dark Knight premiere looking fab-u-lous, and we think there is hope. Our heart swells with the promise of brighter days.

Only to have out heart sink once again. What is this? From the velvet Glad bag couture line? With a matching Zsa Zsa Gabor head turban and a chest rosette? Why, Lord, why? Why does she tease us so? Why are do we allow our hopes to rise, only to be dashed again?

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Boho chic?

June 27, 2008 at 4:09 pm (Deep V, Elizabeth Hurley, Elle MacPherson, Floral, Fringe, Headband, Necklace, Uma Thurman) (, , , , , , )

It’s been a little quiet on the wires today. Mary-Kate is smiling and Britney is actually wearing clothes. Banner day for fashion critics!

Normally Elle MacPherson’s dress at Elton John’s “White Tie and Tiara” ball would stay under the radar screen. Not stellar, but not completely inappropriate in a Naomi-Campbell-in-a-sheer-gown sort of way. Since today’s been dullsville, we’re posting Elle MacPherson.

First, I’ll say that I’m sure it’s not fun to spend an evening with your ex — and the father of your children — right after he got engaged to another woman. And gave her an 8-carat rock. So, kudos to her for being there with her chin up. Second, I’ll say that the event had a beach theme. How a beach theme, white tie and diamonds all go together, I’m not sure. Most people seemed to skip over the beach part, and dressed for the white tie and diamonds part. Smart move.

Our lady Elle went for “bohemian chic.” What an oxymoron, like jumbo shrimp or freezer burn. I’m not in love with her necklace-as-headband look or her beaded-necklace-to-your-knees look. The gold mesh of the dress looks a little polyester-ish to me. And the floral/fringe shawl is totally distracting.

On an unrelated note, it feels like Elizabeth Hurley is always wearing the same darn dress. I’m all for knowing what looks good on you, but she is ALWAYS wearing a solid dress with a tight bodice that shows off the girls and a full skirt. And it’s usually Versace. Snooze. Snooze. Snooze.

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Clara Barton

June 24, 2008 at 4:29 pm (Bows, Headband, Kelly Osbourne) (, , )

This one renders us a little speechless. Maybe she intended to look like Clara Barton establishing the American Red Cross?

My 90-year old grandma had a bathrobe just like her coat. Grandma’s was fleece, and snapped up the front. Only my grandma was smart enough to get rid of hers!

Keep in mind that Kelly Osbourne is in Milan, the birthplace of all things stylish and fashionable. Is she intentionally insulting the fashion gods with this outfit?


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