Granny

October 15, 2008 at 11:12 am (Floral, Leggings, Lindsay Lohan, Necklace) (, , , , , , )

Lindsay Lohan scores a point for covering up her tanless knees and ankles.

But she loses more points for the Claire’s rhinestone necklace and the Granny needlepoint ruffled Matthew Williamson top.

Perhaps she is emulating Colin Firth/Mark Darcy in a reindeer sweater (those crazy Brits call it a jumper). Otherwise, it’s not a good look.

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From a distance

October 13, 2008 at 10:24 am (Asymmetrical, Checkered, Leather, Lindsay Lohan, Sheer) (, , , , , , )

From a distance (to quote a sappy Bette Midler), Lindsay Lohan looks ok. Zooming in tells a completely different story. She becomes a trainwreck.

Exhibit A: Spray Tan. How did they miss her knees and ankles? And is she really that pasty and ashen?

Exhibit B: Sheer Top. You can see the tag on the side, and there seems to have been a rip near her right boob that was shoddily fixed.

Exhibit C: Bra Strap. Three cheers that she wore a bra, given the sheerness of the top and her propensity to go without support. But why not a strapless bra?

I think she should have kept her leather jacket on!

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Zzzzzzz

September 11, 2008 at 11:34 am (Leather, Lindsay Lohan, Necklace, Tank) (, , , , , , )

I’m sorry. Have I fallen asleep at my computer, or has Lindsay Lohan been wearing the same dang outfit for the last year?  Perhaps I’ve been living in a time warp, but you don’t *always* have to wear a miniskirt and heels. There are other options (besides leggings). Let’s try a trouser. Or a knee-length skirt.

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You say it’s your birthday

July 3, 2008 at 4:16 pm (Baby Doll, Hat, Lace, Lindsay Lohan, Tuxedo) (, , , , )

Awwwwwww. Here she comes. Here’s our cute little girl, all already for the Prom. Our little LiLo has sure grown up fast, hasn’t she? Wait here while Daddy gets a picture of your date pinning a corsage on your dress. Oh. Oops. Hmmm. Your date’s a she. In a tuxedo. And she’s busy smoking her cig right now. That’s OK. Mommy can roll with that, and Daddy can get a picture next time. No problem, sweetie. Don’t worry.

Wow, sweetie, your dress is sure a blend of precious and skank. That’s a lot of boobie for the prom, isn’t it honey? And why do you look so PO’d? What’s wrong, sweetie? You should be happy on your prom birthday! You’re such a big girl now. Don’t worry that you might have another baby sister to support because of your irresponsible and skirt-chasing daddy. It’s OK. Just have a nice time at the Prom, and be sure to make home in time for your curfew, OK?

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Trailer Trash

May 24, 2008 at 3:04 am (Lindsay Lohan, Metallic) ()

Lindsay Lohan is skirting with a Britney Spears look. Uber-short skirt? Check! Long overprocessed hair? Check! Boobs half-exposed? Check! Add some cowboy boots and visible hair extensions to make it truly a la Spears.

 

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