December 12, 2008 at 4:38 pm (Animal Print, Bows, Fergie, Lingerie) (, , , , , , )

I’m tired. It’s been a long week. And I can’t drink right now. So, suffice it to say that I don’t like Fergie’s outfit.  You can determine the 47 reasons why. Have a good weekend.

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November 5, 2008 at 3:26 pm (Boots, Gwyneth Paltrow, Lace, Lingerie, Necklace) (, , , , , , )

Is Gwyneth Paltow’s Antonio Berardi dress supposed to be sultry? Alluring? Cuz I just don’t see it.

Instead, I see a phallic crotch cover, granny undergarments, and shoes with built in footies.

I wonder if the boots have little white pom poms on the back of her ankles?

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October 3, 2008 at 4:56 pm (All Black, Corset, Leather, Leggings, Lingerie, Stephanie Seymour) (, , , , , , , )

We really don’t need to see more of Stephanie Seymour’s outfit at yesterday’s Yves Saint Laurent show. The outfit is a mish-mash of looks and trends, and honestly it just doesn’t seem to fit her personality or age.

Skirt and leggings? You need to be a little younger. Gathered corseted leather Azzedine Alaia skirt? You need to be a little edgier. Sheer black top and peek-a-boo bra? You need to be a little Britnier. No make up? You need to be a little tanner. All together, you need to be a little more cohesive-ier.

Sure, I know cohesive-ier isn’t a word. But you get the idea. This look has no cohesiveness or clear point of view. Whatsoever.

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Zsa Zsa

October 1, 2008 at 9:59 am (Beaded, Halter, Lingerie, Milla Jovovich, Necklace, Ruffles) (, , , , , , , )

I feel like Milla Jovovich was inspired by a Zsa Zsa Gabor ruffled peignoir set. All she needs are some marabou slippers and a Pomeranian dog.

The dress is OK, even though no one larger than an A-cup could wear it tastefully.  I just don’t think the dress *goes* with the necklace. And it is a Bulgari event. The necklace is the star. Build your outfit around it.

I love the detail on the bodice, but it almost competes with the necklace. This is necklace can stand up to strong color, bold style and sleek silhouettes. I don’t think flesh-toned-pink and ruffles do the necklace justice.

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One singular sensation

September 9, 2008 at 12:57 pm (Gladiator Sandal, Headband, Leather, Lingerie, Metallic, Nicole Richie, Tank) (, , , , , , )

I took a jazz dance class in the sixth grade. We learned a dance routine to the song One, from A Chorus Line. You know the song. It will be burned in your brain for the rest of the day. “One. Singular sensation. Every little step she takes…”

We wore little tuxedo leotards and white bowler hats with a silver sequined band. Just like Nicole Richie’s headband. I’m not kidding. It was exactly the same.

I’m sure the Marc Jacobs show was pretty great. I hope Miss Richie liked it. And thank heavens he featured rakish Mary Poppins hats rather than sequined headbands.

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August 7, 2008 at 6:28 pm (Ashley Tisdale, High Waisted, Lace, Lingerie, Shiny) (, , , , , , )

Personally, I think it is a challenge to pull off the lingerie look. The material is shiny, the lace can look cheap, and the cuts can be unflattering. More often than not, it ends up looking tarty or trashy. Think a whacked-out Courtney Love with smeared lipstick and unruly hair.

Despite my preconceptions on lingerie as clothing, Ashley Tisdale looks surprisingly matronly in this look. She is actually quite covered up. The thing is midnight blue. And it ain’t the least bit sultry.

So, I guess my notions on lingerie as clothing are a little off. But the overall look still isn’t much of a winner.

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