Oscar the grouch

November 20, 2008 at 11:39 am (Bangles, Belt, Feathers, Madonna) (, , , , , , )

I am very disturbed by the “Oscar the Grouch” furry green trend. First Mischa Barton and now Madonna in Louis Vuitton. Honestly, what is this? And how can it be flattering?

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Yak vest

September 11, 2008 at 10:17 am (Beaded, Fur, Madonna, Ruffles, Sheer, Vest) (, , , , , , , )

This whole look is very perplexing. Perplexing, indeed.

I wonder how many yaks were killed to make Madonna’s vest?

I wonder what Madonna had done to her face to make her cheekbones jut out so much?

I wonder if she knows she is sprouting butterfly antennae.

I wonder if she wants to look like Guy pelted her neck with his BB gun.

And– the biggest question of all– I wonder if Madonna and Anna Wintour work out with the same trainer.

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I pity the fool

August 18, 2008 at 12:10 pm (All Black, Boots, Madonna, Metallic, Necklace, Sheer, Shorts, Tights) (, , , , , , )

I just have to say this, for my own mental health: Madonna is TOTALLY creeping me out these days. She has these spindly yet muscular arms and mega cheekbones. And why is she wearing such weird hoodie/athletic shorts combinations for her rehearsals?

But I digress. Back to the outfit at hand. Let’s break down this fiftieth birthday outfit (happy birthday, Madge!) from the bottom up:

Black thigh-high boots
Black hose
Black granny shorts
Black sheer dress
(Are you beginning to sense a theme?)
Black top we can’t see becuase it’s obsured by her stringy hair
Sheer black puffy sleeves with shiny gold cuffs
Eight pounds (or are they stones in Britian?) of Mr. T necklaces
Shiny clutch purse with rhinetone lettering

I guess her new look is “Biker-chick-figure-skater-meets-Mr.-T.”

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I amfAR from fashionable

May 22, 2008 at 10:53 pm (Floral, Lace, Madonna, Rose McGowan, Ruffles, Stretch) (, , )

 What the f*&# was the dress code listed in the amfAR Cannes invite this year?


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Flapper Madge

May 21, 2008 at 10:41 pm (Backless, Belt, Madonna, Necklace, Sequins) ()

I think that Madonna was thinking of learning to dance the Charleston. All she needs is a headband with a feather!

I’m no bleeding heart, but this sure seems like a lotta bling for promoting a documentary about African orphans. Mother Theresa she ain’t. And the value of that diamond necklace may equatl the GNP of Malawi.

But I digress…on to the outfit. Madonna is a force of nature. She is 49, for heaven’s sake! She looks amazing. But she is 49. She should wear a bra. The girls shouldn’t be two inches above your belt.

And what is the deal with all the fringe!? I can handle the skirt. But the sleeves and the back is too much. And I am not endorsing the halter-top-meets-long-sleeve-cut-outs.

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