Undergarments

January 30, 2009 at 3:07 pm (Belt, Hat, High Waisted, Leggings, Mischa Barton, Necklace, Scarf, Shiny, Suspenders, T-Shirt, Tank) (, , , , , , )

Now, this seems like a whole lotta look for just walking down the street (even if it is a street in Paris during Fashion week).

Each individual component is tolerable, but all together (hat, necklaces, tank/tee, suspenders, belt, bracelet, skirt, tights, purse, scarf, tights, shoes) with a big hair and dark eyeliner equals too much.

And Mischa….darling…let me introduce you to a bra. When you’re wearing something high-waisted, you really need to wear a bra.

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Fore!

November 10, 2008 at 3:12 pm (Beaded, Feathers, Headband, Mischa Barton) (, , , , , , )

I normally love the flounce, frill and sheer romance of Marchesa, but Mischa Barton’s dress is a tad ridiculous.

Perhaps it would better in a different color, but this green just makes me think of golf, croquet, or any other uppity lawn sport. I mean, seriously. Is the skirt made out of dill?

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Allure

November 7, 2008 at 11:03 am (All White, Backless, Mischa Barton, Necklace) (, , , , , , )

I like Mischa Barton’s Dsquared2 dress from the front, but am not finding the back photo particularly alluring. Perhaps Mischa should avoid backless in the future.

What do you think?

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Tooth fairy

September 22, 2008 at 3:55 pm (Headband, Mischa Barton) (, , , , , , )

If the Tooth Fairy and Olivia Newton John and Nefertiti all morphed into one human, I think she’d look like Mischa Barton in this photo.

The Temperley London dress is OK, I guess. The cut is rather shapeless, the look is a little fairy-esque, and the color is a vague not-lavender-but-not-gray-and-certainly-very-iridescent. But I could live with it.

The rest of Mischa’s execution is horrible. The pilgrim shoe, the bright purple “Let’s Get Physical” headband, the horribly stringy hair, and the Queen Nefertiti eyeliner add up to one bad look.

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Skanky flapper

September 16, 2008 at 3:02 pm (Cardigan, Fringe, Metallic, Mischa Barton, Necklace) (, , , , , , )

We can all breathe a sigh of relief. Mischa Barton has resurfaced in London for the Temperley runway show, sporting a black and gold skanky flapper ensemble.

Flapper: finged cardigan, dress adorned with dangling metallic pH test strips
Skanky: mega scoop neck that goes mid-navel
Just plain odd: Native American necklace slug suggestively between her droopy, unsupported boobs

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Vacation

July 25, 2008 at 4:03 pm (Denim, Fergie, Hat, High Waisted, Knit, Mischa Barton, Shorts, Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , )

I’m going on vacation for a few days. What should I pack?

Here is my checklist….

m Crocheted swim suit

 

 

 

m High-waisted denim short shorts

  

m Fedora hat

 

 

 

 m A butler– I mean husband– to carry my bags

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aaahhh…forget it…too complicated. I’ll just pack my captain’s hat and call it a day.

See you in a few days!

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Who stole my cheese?

June 17, 2008 at 4:35 pm (All Black, Asymmetrical, Kelly Osbourne, Mischa Barton, Sequins, Tights) (, )

I am not feeling the love on this outfit that Kelly Osbourne wore to the Viktor & Rolf private showing in London. It seems a little too Minnie-Mouse-attacked-by-moth-balls-while-watching-Flashdance-for-the-107th-time. It’s a bad day when Mischa Barton’s outfit is better than yours!

In all fairness (not that we are known for fairness!?), I am trying to figure out what you could put under this tunic to make it look good. Perhaps Kelly has made it look as good as it can get.

 

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Pocahontas, DDS

June 12, 2008 at 10:01 am (Fringe, Mischa Barton, Suede, Tights) (, )

Dear Diary– Today I have to go to the dentist. I HATE to go to the dentist! The technicians wear such ugly scrubs and the dentist wears that shapeless medical jacket. Ugh. Thank God I am not a dentist!

I think I’ll spruce up the visit with my fun new moccasin boots. I really love them! Thigh-high boots are da bomb, and all the fringe really kicks butt.  I like to pair them with black tights. It’s only 100 degrees in New York City today, so encasing my legs in nylon and suede will be totally comfortable. I’ll just add my super-duper over-sized white tee to complete the look. Dentist office, here I come!

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It isn’t personal…it’s fashion

June 9, 2008 at 11:28 am (Lace, Mischa Barton, Ruffles, Sequins) ()

We don’t have anything personal against Mischa Barton. She is probably a very nice girl, just trying to make her way in Tinseltown. But her recent clothing choices are bad. Just bad. So here is her third post in less than a week.

Granted, she is at an event for children. We’ll allow the wings and face paint. But who on God’s green earth wears a sequined Chanel bag and a studded shoes/headband combo to an outdoor kids event? C’mon!

Her dress is just plain weird. The strapless lace tent dress is boring and unflattering, but not horrible. I just do not understand the ruffle thing. What IS that!? Was is supposed to form halter straps? Should it be along the top hem? Or do you use it to dust between the slats of your window blinds? I am so confused…

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This has GOT to hurt

June 5, 2008 at 1:50 pm (Knit, Leggings, Mischa Barton, Ruffles, Vest) ()

I literally winced in pain when I saw this picture. Ouch! Those pants simply cannot be comfortable. It looks like she pulled out her stirrup pants from 6th grade, when she was both shorter and lighter. I can’t imagine that any gynecological professional would advocate a woman wearing pants that tight.

And I can’t even find the words to describe the vest. Is it knit? Crocheted? Latch-hooked? Or was she attacked by a swarm of Grandma’s toaster covers and tea cozies?

Wow. This one leaves us truly speechless. And covering our eyes.

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