Natural death

April 20, 2009 at 12:44 pm (Deep V, Halter, Jumpsuit, Kate Walsh, Necklace) (, , , , , , )

Why won’t jumpsuits die a natural death? They are universally unflattering, unless you happen to be over 6 feet tall. Kate Walsh’s is particularly unattractive, unless she intended to look like a barrel or the Dalai Lama.

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ARGyle

April 2, 2009 at 2:57 pm (Argyle, Buttons, Cardigan, Michelle Obama, Necklace, Pleated) (, , , , , , )

Michelle Obama followed Jackie-O’s fashion footsteps across the pond. Has she been a little more casual than I would suggest? Perhaps. But she’s also been looking fresh and classy and fabulous.

Today’s outfit I just don’t get. First and foremost, it does not match. And I think it was intended to match. The shoe, dress and cardigan colors are all off, and not it a quirky “this doesn’t match but it goes together” way, but in a “she really wants these to all the the same color but they aren’t.”

And what is the deal with the sweater? Besides being off-buttoned (is that on purpose?) and manically argyled (the left sleeve, which you can’t see here, is also argyle), it just isn’t appealing.

While I love that she is rewearing the inaguration Jimmy Choo shoes, I didn’t think the green color worked on inaguration day and I don’t think they work today.

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Dress mess

February 23, 2009 at 1:58 pm (Amy Adams, Draped, Necklace, Strapless, Stripes) (, , , , , , , , )

This is one mess of a look, Amy Adams. If you paid someone to help you put this together, you should ask for a refund. Pronto. Seriously.

I’m not crazy about the Carolina Herrera dress.  I’d says stripes or sheer, but not both. And doesn’t it look like a magician is doing a trick by pulling out a long sheer scarf from between her boobs?

But the necklace/bib is what makes me crazy. The necklace isn’t exactly my style, but I can see it with a simple dress so the necklace pops. Put it with one of the gazillon colorless dresses on the Oscar red carpet and you’re set. But don’t pair it with a red striped chiffony dress!

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Forever 21

February 5, 2009 at 2:21 pm (Bows, Fergie, Headband, Lace, Necklace) (, , , , , , )

It looks like Fergie hauled herself down to the local Forever 21 store and bought the first thing she could find.  The dress looks cheap and tarty, the jewelry makes it even worse, and it is never a good idea to put a gi-normous bow on your boobs.

On the upside, I do really like her hair and make up. Sometimes Fergie’s face can look a big angular, and this is soft and fresh.

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Undergarments

January 30, 2009 at 3:07 pm (Belt, Hat, High Waisted, Leggings, Mischa Barton, Necklace, Scarf, Shiny, Suspenders, T-Shirt, Tank) (, , , , , , )

Now, this seems like a whole lotta look for just walking down the street (even if it is a street in Paris during Fashion week).

Each individual component is tolerable, but all together (hat, necklaces, tank/tee, suspenders, belt, bracelet, skirt, tights, purse, scarf, tights, shoes) with a big hair and dark eyeliner equals too much.

And Mischa….darling…let me introduce you to a bra. When you’re wearing something high-waisted, you really need to wear a bra.

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Why the fuss?

January 26, 2009 at 2:10 pm (Beaded, Clutch, Draped, Eva Longoria, Necklace, Pastels, Ruffles, Sheer) (, , , , , , , )

Eva Longoria Parker went from her Golden Globes fashion high to this SAG awards lowest of lows. Her red Golden Globes dress was simple, sleek and streamlined. This look….aaah…umm…isn’t.

Eva, why all the fuss? You are 5’2″ tall. I say avoid the flounce and flourish when you are that height.  And, unless you are literally performing a triple lutz that minute on ice, there is no reason for a built-in-necklace-with-sheer-overlay.

The whole look is giving me an orange sherbet push-up brain freeze.

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Flamenco

December 2, 2008 at 5:06 pm (Kim Kardashian, Necklace, Ruffles) (, , , , , , )

Who died? Kim Kardashian looks like she is a flamenco-dancer-in-mourning. Her hairstyle also makes her look like Jennifer Love Hewitt.

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You got me at the bangs

November 14, 2008 at 3:17 pm (All Black, Brooch, Draped, Jessica Alba, Necklace) (, , , , , , )

I can hardly look past Jessica Alba’s  bangs to see the Gucci dress.

Are we really going to try this bang thing? It didn’t work for Katie Holmes. It didn’t work for Christina Aguilera. Sure, it looks cute on Suri, but she also still wears a diaper. So, Jessica, I don’t recommend keeping this hair style.

As for the dress, it is OK. Kinda bleeech, but OK. If I worked to have my body look that good, no way would I choose a drapey, slouchy, bunchy black number.

I know that statement vintage accessories are all the rage, but it kinda looks a frilly pocket watch chain. All she needs is a smoking jacket and a monocle.

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Vogue

November 11, 2008 at 3:32 pm (All Black, Anna Wintour, Beaded, Boots, Necklace) (, , , , , , )

So maybe it’s a bad idea to question the fashion judgement of Anna Wintour. Who am I anyways? But I really don’t like this Prada dress. I’ll throw caution to the wind becuase the dress ain’t pretty. It. Just. Isn’t. Pretty. It’s drab and depressing and it kinda looks like her shoulders are molding.

She also looks like the icon for the ladies restroom.

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JonBenet

November 7, 2008 at 4:52 pm (All Black, Clutch, Deep V, Hayden Panettiere, Leggings, Metallic, Necklace, Vest) (, , , , , , )

OK– this photo of Hayden Panettiere really creeped me out. It reminds me of those weird, highly made up, suggestively dressed four-year-old pageant girls. And she’s wearing a leash of a necklace.

Is anyone watching out for this girl?

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