ARGyle

April 2, 2009 at 2:57 pm (Argyle, Buttons, Cardigan, Michelle Obama, Necklace, Pleated) (, , , , , , )

Michelle Obama followed Jackie-O’s fashion footsteps across the pond. Has she been a little more casual than I would suggest? Perhaps. But she’s also been looking fresh and classy and fabulous.

Today’s outfit I just don’t get. First and foremost, it does not match. And I think it was intended to match. The shoe, dress and cardigan colors are all off, and not it a quirky “this doesn’t match but it goes together” way, but in a “she really wants these to all the the same color but they aren’t.”

And what is the deal with the sweater? Besides being off-buttoned (is that on purpose?) and manically argyled (the left sleeve, which you can’t see here, is also argyle), it just isn’t appealing.

While I love that she is rewearing the inaguration Jimmy Choo shoes, I didn’t think the green color worked on inaguration day and I don’t think they work today.

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Support

March 30, 2009 at 12:02 pm (All Black, Belt, Deep V, High Waisted, Jumpsuit, Kim Kardashian, Pleated, Studded, Tank) (, , , , , , )

Memo to Kim Kardashian: You have cantaloupes, not tangerines. The girls need waaayyyyy more support than this.  Lift ’em high, girlfriend! And never ever balance them over a mega high waisted belt again. Not doing you any favors!

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Square bubble

January 21, 2009 at 4:16 pm (Pleated, Rihanna) (, , , , , , )

Is it geometrically possible to look like a square bubble? Apparently, Rihanna was out to prove that this was not only possible, but to punctuate her point in bright yellow.

I really don’t understand this dress. How can curved pleats, a bubble skirt, and two very buoyant boobs look so dang boxy?

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New kind of crazy

December 19, 2008 at 12:50 pm (All Black, Cardigan, Lily Allen, Pleated, Sheer) (, , , , , , )

Lily Allen’s always been her own brand of crazy, but now she’s mixing it up to be a new kind of crazy. I like the move toward sophisticated, but don’t think that a sheer full-body condom is quite necessary.

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Oh dear

December 11, 2008 at 1:03 pm (Bows, Metallic, Pleated, Sashes, Scarlett Johansson, Strapless) (, , , , , , )

Oh dear. Where to start with this disappointment of a dress?

Chesty gals should NOT wear frou-frou bodices. You’ve got the girls. You don’t need to adorn them with anything else. No bows. No tuxedo-collar wings. Just a simple bodice that highlights what everyone is already looking at anyways.

And why does she always stand a little pigeon toed?

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Ad nauseam

August 29, 2008 at 1:53 pm (Cardigan, Denim, Floral, Katie Holmes, Pleated) (, , , , , )

I am torn between being totally repulsed and totally glued to Katie Holmes watch- NYC 08. On one hand, can’t the girl just go to rehearsals without being photographed ad nauseam? On the other hand, what crazy thing will she do with denim today?

What a quandary– avert our eyes or keep a rapt attention?

I felt the same tension toward the end of the Olympics. Michael Phelps had achieved his mission, I had watched four consecutive nights of beach volleyball,and I don’t really know anything about rhythmic gymnastics. So should I keep watching Bob Costas, or should I actually get off the dang couch and be productive?

My answer to the Olympic question was to keep watching, watching hours of TV watching until I cross-eyed. My answer to the Katie Holmes question is to keep blogging, especially when she wears this Missoni pleated floral shapeless “dress” with a Mr. Rogers cardigan. It’s like gawking at a traffic accident–we just can’t turn away. God help us.

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Hausfrau

July 31, 2008 at 12:58 pm (Floral, Liv Tyler, Pleated, Sheer, Strapless) (, , , , , )

I want to like this dress. I’ve looked at it several times and TRIED to like it. But I just don’t.

I don’t understand the slip. Why is it blindingly white? And why does it not do all the way to the hem of the skirt? And the dress proportions seem off. Why is the bodice so short and the skirt so long? It makes her look far too hippy (not hippie) and wide. Finally, I just don’t like the flowers. The whole picture is too matronly and cutesy for me.

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Checkered chronicles

July 1, 2008 at 8:34 am (Anna Popplewell, Checkered, Pleated) (, , , , , )

Maybe people are only looking at Ben Barnes, and Anna Popplewell has to work extra hard at getting noticed. So she grabs the nearest checkered flag, and wraps it around her like a bath towel.

A girl starring in a summer blockbuster has to be a little more fashion savvy. This dress is shapeless and is smashing the girls down to her waist.

Anna: you’re 19. Live it up while you can! Show off your waist! Give us a little leg! And– in the name of all fashion that is holy and good– never, never, ever wear those shoes again. Please.

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Getting by in Dubai

June 24, 2008 at 9:51 am (Bows, Naomi Watts, Pleated, Sequins) (, , )

Naomi Watts even looks unsure of this Zac Posen outfit. She just looks a little frumpy, with the pleated skirt, long top, librarian blouse. Her hair looks more supermarket-run than red carpet, and overall it just looks like she didn’t try.

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