Sheer disaster

January 12, 2009 at 2:51 pm (All Black, Corset, Cut-outs, Renee Zellweger, Sheer) (, , , , , , , )

The other wince dress of the Golden Globes for me was Renee Zellweger. Usually I love Carolina Herrera. And I like to concept of this look. I don’t know what went with the execution. I think there is too much going on. And it’s bad.

I like the sheer top and corset concept. But it is overwrought with the mock neck, the pegged sleeves, and the mermaid skirt. Then you add Renee’s always-odd red carpet contortionist posing style and the ponytail extension hairdo, and any effort at elegance or minimalism is out the window.

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Icy stare

September 26, 2008 at 3:27 pm (Feathers, Metallic, Renee Zellweger, Sashes, Sheer) (, , , , , , )

I’m reeling from the news that Renee Zellweger wore Carolina Herrera on the red carpet. Gasp! She *never* wears Carolina Herrera!?

I think this dress is just a tad too much. And Carolina is usually so understated. But with the sheer and the feathers and the metal embellishments and the cuffs and the feathers and the sash and the ribbon decoration everywhere it feels a bit busy. Overworked.

I also think Renee should avoid cool colors. Her coloring (like Nicole Kidman) runs on the icy side, so these cool colors make her look a bit frigid. And her puckered facial expressions aren’t helping.

Also, Renee, please, please, please rethink your hairstyle. Pretty please?

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Posing 101

September 18, 2008 at 10:31 am (All Black, Renee Zellweger, Ruffles, Strapless) (, , , , , , )

Is Renee Zellweger ill? Does she have a gastrointestinal issue that she is working through? Did she have some bad sushi in the limo? Why else would she be contorting herself so oddly on the red carpet?

It’s as though her arms are disjointed from the rest of her body. She doesn’t seem to know what to do with those odd, floppy, ungainly appendages, and heaven forbid she just leave them casually at her side. So instead she hugs herself, practices guitar cords with her left hand, and plays itsy-bitsy spider on her right thigh.

 

For heaven sakes, Renee. You’ve been to God-knows-how-many-red-carpet-events-always-wearing-Carolina-Herrera? You should know how to do this a little better. Stand up straight. Put one leg slightly in front of the other. Turn your shoulder a bit. Pull your head forward and tilt your chin down slightly. And smile. That’s it. That’s *all* you have to do. You do not have to contort yourself like a Cirque du Soleil wannabe.

 

P.S. And lay off the Botox a bit.

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