Is this an outfit

March 16, 2009 at 11:20 am (Buttons, Cardigan, Deep V, Liv Tyler, Pockets, Sheer) (, , , , , , )

I’m not sure I can even call this an outfit.

Doesn’t it look like Liv Tyler threw a cardigan over her nightie to grab the newspaper off the front stoop?

Or perhaps she’s recreating the final scene from Bridget Jones’s Diary, where Bridget is chases after Mark Darcy in her tiny undies after he reads the unflattering comments in her diary.

Either way, this just isn’t an outfit.

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Holy. Cow.

March 2, 2009 at 12:02 pm (Sheer, Stripes, Tilda Swinton) (, , , , , , )

Holy. Cow.

We expect the unexpected from Tilda Swinton. I actually enjoy it. But this Christian LaCroix is really something. And not anything good.

It’s not flattering. It’s not even particularly interesting, except to ponder why someone would ever design or wear this.

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Orange you glad to see me?

February 13, 2009 at 11:12 am (Cut-outs, Lace, Michelle Monaghan, Ruffles, Sheer, Tulle) (, , , , , )

I was on a little vacation, and came back to see Michelle Monaghan wearing this Louis Vuitton train wreck.

Whaaaaat? Was I gone too long? Did my eye sight get distorted from too much sun? WTF is this thing? And what would compel anyone (other than Madonna, who is paid to wear Vuitton) to wear this monstrosity?

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Hit me with your best shot

February 5, 2009 at 4:28 pm (All Black, Beaded, Boots, Leggings, Sequins, Sheer, Stripes, Sweater, Tank, Taylor Momsen) (, , , , , , )

I am utterly and completely over Taylor Momsen’s Pat Benatar look.  Those leggings are really unfortunate.

Plus, I get totally annoyed every time I see her photo. She’s 15 and newly famous. Why does she always look so pissed off about being photographed?

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Sack of potatoes

February 3, 2009 at 1:09 pm (Anne Hathaway, Metallic, Sheer) (, , , , , , )

Anne Hathaway looks like she is wearing a sack of sparkly potatoes. There is literally *nothing* flattering about this dress.

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Why the fuss?

January 26, 2009 at 2:10 pm (Beaded, Clutch, Draped, Eva Longoria, Necklace, Pastels, Ruffles, Sheer) (, , , , , , , )

Eva Longoria Parker went from her Golden Globes fashion high to this SAG awards lowest of lows. Her red Golden Globes dress was simple, sleek and streamlined. This look….aaah…umm…isn’t.

Eva, why all the fuss? You are 5’2″ tall. I say avoid the flounce and flourish when you are that height.  And, unless you are literally performing a triple lutz that minute on ice, there is no reason for a built-in-necklace-with-sheer-overlay.

The whole look is giving me an orange sherbet push-up brain freeze.

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Sheer disaster

January 12, 2009 at 2:51 pm (All Black, Corset, Cut-outs, Renee Zellweger, Sheer) (, , , , , , , )

The other wince dress of the Golden Globes for me was Renee Zellweger. Usually I love Carolina Herrera. And I like to concept of this look. I don’t know what went with the execution. I think there is too much going on. And it’s bad.

I like the sheer top and corset concept. But it is overwrought with the mock neck, the pegged sleeves, and the mermaid skirt. Then you add Renee’s always-odd red carpet contortionist posing style and the ponytail extension hairdo, and any effort at elegance or minimalism is out the window.

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Happy Golden Globes, Mr. President

January 12, 2009 at 11:22 am (Clutch, Costume, Draped, Drew Barrymore, Sheer) (, , , , , , , )

Overall, I was surprised how fussy most of the dresses were at last night’s Golden Globes. In these difficult times, I thought the looks would veer toward sleek and simple. Boy, was I wrong! Instead, ladies brought out the triple arsenal of glitter, bling and big hair.

I had two actual wince moments. Here is the first: Drew Barrymore. I didn’t hate the John Galliano dress per se, but I did not like the overall Marilyn Monroe sexpot look. It felt far too literal, too stale, and too heavy handed. Can’t you just *smell* all the Aqua Net?

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New kind of crazy

December 19, 2008 at 12:50 pm (All Black, Cardigan, Lily Allen, Pleated, Sheer) (, , , , , , )

Lily Allen’s always been her own brand of crazy, but now she’s mixing it up to be a new kind of crazy. I like the move toward sophisticated, but don’t think that a sheer full-body condom is quite necessary.

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French maid

December 1, 2008 at 12:49 pm (Keira Knightley, Lace, Sheer) (, , , , , , )

Hmm…aren’t French maid costumes supposed to be sexy? Cuz this one looks a little French maid-ish, but is definitely not sexy. Unless you think your grandmother is sexy.

It takes a lot of effort to make a sheer lacy dress seem dowdy, but this dress does a darn good job! And why was it designed for the boobs to be around her waist?

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