Please…Stop

March 12, 2009 at 12:59 pm (Katie Holmes, Leggings, Strapless) (, , , , , )

Please, Katie Holmes. Please make it stop. For the love of God and all things fashionable and holy. This just doesn’t suit you.

The Jason Wu dress is not the strongest look in his Fall 2009 collection. The footless leggings are far too LiLo. And I really dislike the Rousseau shoes.

The only good thing I can say is, “at least you didn’t design it yourself!”

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Budweiser

February 24, 2009 at 11:19 am (All Black, Fringe, Gwen Stefani, Strapless) (, , , , )

I don’t hate Gwen Stefani’s Chanel dress, and overall she looks pretty great. But I can’t help but see a Budweiser ad in the making…

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Dress mess

February 23, 2009 at 1:58 pm (Amy Adams, Draped, Necklace, Strapless, Stripes) (, , , , , , , , )

This is one mess of a look, Amy Adams. If you paid someone to help you put this together, you should ask for a refund. Pronto. Seriously.

I’m not crazy about the Carolina Herrera dress.  I’d says stripes or sheer, but not both. And doesn’t it look like a magician is doing a trick by pulling out a long sheer scarf from between her boobs?

But the necklace/bib is what makes me crazy. The necklace isn’t exactly my style, but I can see it with a simple dress so the necklace pops. Put it with one of the gazillon colorless dresses on the Oscar red carpet and you’re set. But don’t pair it with a red striped chiffony dress!

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Oysters

February 20, 2009 at 11:08 am (Corsage, Kate Bosworth, Strapless, Tulle) (, , , , , , )

I’m not sure what inspired Kate Bosworth’s Loewe dress.

Perhaps some oysters in wedding apparel? Or the fog character in those Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich commercials?

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Spitballs

January 26, 2009 at 5:52 pm (Clutch, Marcia Cross, Strapless) (, , , , , , , )

I don’t think I’m feeling the Carolina Herrera love this season. I *hated* Renee Zellweger’s Golden Globes dress, and I ain’t too crazy about Marcia Cross’ dress either.

It looks like she started with a prom-like iridescent blue/purple dress, and then the crowd blew black spitballs at her while she walked down the red carpet. Or like she was attacked by a sinister flock of black origami cranes.

And doesn’t the angular nature of the black ‘things’ only accentuate the unattractive angularness of her shoulders?

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Fit

January 12, 2009 at 2:54 pm (Beaded, Blake Lively, Sequins, Strapless) (, )

Memo to Blake Lively: See all the wrinkles and puckering? Your dress is too small.

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I kissed a girl

December 18, 2008 at 1:58 pm (Corsage, Feathers, Headband, Metallic, Shiny, Strapless, Tights, Uncategorized, Zooey Deschanel) (, , , , , , )

Zooey Deschanel seems to be going for the Lily Allen look-alike award. The outfit, the hair, the pose. I don’t like that trend. Next thing you know she’ll have a Christmas tree on her head. It starts innocently with some shimmery silver tights and is a slippery downhill slope from there.

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Jolie

December 12, 2008 at 3:40 pm (Belt, Kim Kardashian, Ruffles, Strapless) (, , , , , , )

Apparently Kim Kardashian just hired Angelina Jolie’s stylist. So why does Angelina look chic and elegant and Kim look silly and large-headed?

I’ll grant you that Kim’s…ah…physique is hard to dress. And I like the turn toward sleek and classy. But this D&G dress is all wrong for her. I think I’d love it on Natalie Portman or Nicole Kidman. But I hat it on Kim. It doesn’t suit her proportions. And her hairdo makes the proportions even worse.

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Oh dear

December 11, 2008 at 1:03 pm (Bows, Metallic, Pleated, Sashes, Scarlett Johansson, Strapless) (, , , , , , )

Oh dear. Where to start with this disappointment of a dress?

Chesty gals should NOT wear frou-frou bodices. You’ve got the girls. You don’t need to adorn them with anything else. No bows. No tuxedo-collar wings. Just a simple bodice that highlights what everyone is already looking at anyways.

And why does she always stand a little pigeon toed?

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Lethal

November 24, 2008 at 12:09 pm (All Black, Boots, Deep V, Halter, Leather, Leggings, Metallic, Rihanna, Shiny, Strapless, Studded) (, , , , , , )

Rihanna: is this fashion or a deadly weapon? It makes a great AMA stage costume, but I’m honestly a little frightened by it. Very Pamela Anderson/ Barb Wire, Bridgette Nielsen, or “Letha” Stella from Project Runway. And we know how classy they all are.

PS I do not like your hair as of late. Please rethink the short bouffant look!

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