Pixie Chick

September 19, 2008 at 10:02 am (Gloves, Necklace, Sarah Jessica Parker, Stretch) (, , , , , , , )

I don’t *hate* Sarah Jessica Parker’s look for the DVD launch of Sex and the City. I just don’t particularly love it.

The Alexander McQueen dress is OK, albeit a little too tight. It’s blah. Whatever. Pass me another Cosmopolitan. I don’t really *get* the wispy thingies on the front– is it smoke? Cotton puffs? Cobwebs? Don’t know and, honestly, don’t even really care.

Shoes are fine, but little boring. Guess I hoped for a little more. I do NOT like the gloves. At all. They look like knee highs. And I don’t like that they are gathered/bunched/puckered randomly along her forearms.

Most of all, I don’t like her hair. The short pixie bangs only elongate her already long face. And the difference in coloring makes it look like she glued a toupee (or a small rodent) to her forehead.

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Going for gold

August 25, 2008 at 9:56 am (Cut-outs, Deep V, Headband, Paris Hilton, Sequins, Shiny, Stretch) (, , , , , , )

Unless Paris Hilton is participating in an Olympic sport, there is no good excuse for this outfit. While our expectations from Ms. Hilton aren’t high in the first place, this get-up is truly ridiculous. It isn’t flattering, it isn’t functional, and sure as heck isn’t fashionable.

And just in case you didn’t know who she is, it was particularly kind of her to emblazon her name along her T, with a follow-up across her A.

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Dirty bo peep

August 7, 2008 at 10:54 am (Ashanti, Belt, Bows, High Waisted, Lace, Leggings, Sheer, Shiny, Stretch) (, , , , , , )

I have a new hypothesis. The more tags I connect to my post, the worse the outfit is. You see, I tag the various fashion components (like sequins or denim or hats). The more tags I add, the busier and crazier the outfit is.

Ashanti may have a new record for the number of tags affiliated to one outfit. Let’s count the number of tags on this Dirty Little Bo Peep ensemble:

1. Belt
2. Bow
3. High-waisted
4. Lace
5. Leggings
6. Sheer
7. Shiny
8. Stretch

Maybe I need to add tags for:

1. Gaudy earrings
2. Silver eyeshadow
3. Puckered waistband

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Ice capades

July 17, 2008 at 10:13 am (Costume, Feathers, Katie Price, Leggings, Metallic, Sequins, Stretch) (, , , , , , )

Given that I don’t read look at Playboy (and given I don’t live in the UK), I’m not very familiar with Katie Price (also known as Jordan). So imagine my disbelief when I saw this photo today.

She isn’t in the ice capades. She isn’t competing in the Miss anything contest. She isn’t a Vegas showgirl. She is in a flipping BORDERS store.

I drag myself into to a Borders wearing track pants and a t-shirt. I’m lucky if they are clean and relatively un-wrinkled. I definitely don’t weary a feather shrug, sequined stirrup-sleeves, and leggings emblazoned with a crotch medallion. Oh, yeah, and don’t forget the tiara.

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Goth flamingo

June 20, 2008 at 5:41 pm (All Black, Feathers, Leggings, Necklace, Rihanna, Shiny, Stretch) (, )

Rihanna has quite the goth flamingo look going today. With an art deco hood ornament.

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Good dresses, dresses, and then…

June 19, 2008 at 3:04 pm (Charlize Theron, Deep V, Floral, Fur, Stretch) ()

Charlize Theron has been *everywhere* promoting Hancock. Apparently, according to the trailer, there are heros, there are superheros, and then there is Hancock. An apt analogy for this dress, only this dress sinks rather than sings.

Although not attached at the hip, it seems that she and Will Smith are attached at the neck. But she has been looking pretty fabulous bouncing around Europe (I loved, loved, loved the white dress with the deep V and bubble skirt she wore in Paris). Playing it as edgy as she does, she is bound to misstep on occasion. Like in this Giambattista Valli dress.

The neck wrap is downright scary. Like she is being attacked by celosia plants, or she has raging case of eczema that needs ointment. Badly. The print on the dress itself seems screen printed. Or like that cosmic shrink wrap material can wrap an entire bus.

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Run for the hills

June 16, 2008 at 3:59 pm (Stretch, Tribal, Whitney Port) (, )

At the risk of sounding like a complete fogey, I’ll admit that I’ve never watched The Hills. So I wasn’t familiar with Whitney Port until she hit my radar screen with this blinding dress. Yowza.

She looks like a kachina doll or an Aztecan warrior. Maybe someone dared her to wear this in a sorority pledge prank. Who knows. Hopefully there is some good excuse for her wearing this atrocity of a dress. All she needs is a dreamcatcher necklace.

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Much too much

June 16, 2008 at 10:12 am (All Black, Belt, Leggings, Pockets, Rihanna, Ruffles, Shiny, Stretch) (, )

Rihanna certainly is an entertainer. Her clothing choices for Sunday’s Much Music Awards in Toronto were quite entertaining!

She arrived in the long black dress; that skirt looks like it is make out of neoprene! And what is the deal on the belt/suspender combo? She looks harnessed for hauling a farm wagon. And I really don’t get it given the buttoned belt of the skirt.

She then performed in the ruffled top and leggings ensemble. I am so OVER the rubberized legging look. The ruffled top looks like a shapeless crinkled garbage bag. Is there actually a belt floating around in there? And the hat screams Village People.

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Just poor taste

June 11, 2008 at 5:05 pm (Ashlee Simpson, Maxi-dress, Stretch) (, )

Ok…this dress isn’t totally horrible…it’s just in really bad taste.

We expect this kind of trashiness from big sis Jessica, but hoped that Ashlee was a tad classier. I guess not. All hope is lost after the completely cheesy prom-like photos of Jessica dancing with Tony Romo –wearing his tie, no less! Yeesch. Imagine how tasteless her lingerie designs will be.

But back to Ash. I will say that I am not a big fan of the floor length maxi dress. They aren’t flattering in general. They must be stifling hot. And (unless you add the clunky knot at your ankle, a la Ashlee) wouldn’t you trip on the hem?

 

 

 

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Punk seamstress

June 2, 2008 at 9:46 am (Charlize Theron, Corset, Leggings, Metallic, Stretch) ()

Maybe Charlize Theron decided to come to the MTV Awards at the last minute. Or maybe she wanted to look like the charter member of the punk rock/seamstress union. But this outfit is not up to the usual standards we see from her.

The bustier looks like a metallic dress form. But most of all — it is too small, and does nothing to enhance her cleavage. The snug fit of the leggings and the bustier make her look wide in the hips.

(Charlize does get an A+ on the accessories. We especially love the shoes!)

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