Trompe l’oeil

December 23, 2008 at 9:41 am (Belt, Draped, Paris Hilton, Suits) (, , , , , , )

In architecture, this shirt would be a trompe l’oeil. Given that it’s Paris, though, should it be a tramp l’oeil?

I think this is what Fred Flinstone would wear if he had to wear a suit– cartoonish and silly. And the skirt, tights and shoes are dullsville.

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Red carpet nerd

June 13, 2008 at 2:55 pm (Aisha Tyler, Necklace, Pockets, Shorts, Suits) (, )

We know Aisha Tyler is brilliant. We know she is at a celebrity scrabble tournament. Still. What is the deal with this nerdy outfit?

The cut of the jacket is too loose, too long and too dull. The odd skirt/skort/short bottoms make no sense, especially when they are almost entirely covered by the jacket. The necklace belongs on a slinky and fitted dress, not a matronly button-up lapel jacket.

Most of all, what is UP with her bangs? The look on her face says it all — she knows she didn’t bring her A game with this look.

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Funeral Fabulousness?

June 6, 2008 at 1:20 pm (All Black, Bows, Carla Bruni Sarkozy, Claudia Schiffer, John Galliano, Ruffles, Scarf, Suits, Tights, Vest) (, , )

I know funerals are somber occasions. But if there is ever a time to bust out a totally over-the-top fabulous funeral look, it would be for the funeral of fashion legend Yves Saint Laurent. Really, he deserves nothing less.

Instead, the French President’s model wife shows up in a rumpled suit and a sweater tank, and Claudia Schiffer wears this dreary Amish number with a built in bib for the funeral luncheon and bad prom satin pumps.

Now, I am not advocating John Galliano’s shirtless outfit in general. But his ridiculous outfit is at least a fitting nod to a fashion pioneer.

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Luxe Tux

June 3, 2008 at 4:24 pm (Ashley Olsen, Deep V, Suits, Tuxedo) ()

We know that Mary-Kate and Ashley fancy themselves as quite fashion forward. It’s hard to predict which trends will gain momentum. But I am guessing that this one ain’t going to catch on.

I will say that I am not on the high-waisted pant bandwagon. Never liked ’em. They make your torso look odd, and put all the focus on the tummy. Why would anyone want that?

Overall, this look is a snooze. The jacket is ok– I like the bolero cut–but it certainly isn’t exceptional. And the rest of the outfit is blah, blah, blah. The blouse looks like a bodysuit circa 1992, and the pants look like something a circus ringleader would wear when taming the lions.

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Sinking Ship

May 13, 2008 at 8:15 pm (Bows, Plaid, Salma Hayek, Suits) ()

Salma Hayek is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful women in the world. Voluptous, sensous, exotic.

Why, oh why, then, is she dressed like a librarian? I know she recently had a baby, but really? Pleats and plaid? That’s a crying shame. The sheer blouse, camisole, gargantuan bow, low lapels, and high waisted skirt are waaaay much, even in her ample chest region.

I think I’d like it better if suit were a solid. Or even a more subtle print. But all the lines of the plaid are enough to make me sea sick.

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