Props

March 10, 2009 at 9:56 am (Asymmetrical, Boots, Cardigan, Diane Kruger, Fur, Metallic, Ruffles, Shiny, Tights) (, , , , , , )

I guess you gotta give Diane Kruger some props for trying. She tries very hard. And she is usually soooo close.

But, as they say, close only counts in horseshoes.  Certainly not in fashion.

The Roberto Cavallichain link dress seems a little frumpy figure skater. And I don’t get the fur shrug with dress. Put it on a tailored Dita von Teese or Victoria Beckham look and I get it. But with an edgy dress and trash sack booties? Nuh-uh.

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I kissed a girl

December 18, 2008 at 1:58 pm (Corsage, Feathers, Headband, Metallic, Shiny, Strapless, Tights, Uncategorized, Zooey Deschanel) (, , , , , , )

Zooey Deschanel seems to be going for the Lily Allen look-alike award. The outfit, the hair, the pose. I don’t like that trend. Next thing you know she’ll have a Christmas tree on her head. It starts innocently with some shimmery silver tights and is a slippery downhill slope from there.

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Newlywed

December 5, 2008 at 10:51 am (Belt, Cardigan, Tights) (, , , , , , )

Marriage can be a great thing, and ScarJo looks very happy. But marriage does not seem to be helping her wardrobe. She’s moved from Sexy Siren to the Isle of Frump.

Case in point: This Mr. Rogers inspired outfit. In gray. Wool. With tights.

Please, Scarlett. Let’s bring sexy back.

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Poodle

November 25, 2008 at 3:08 pm (All Black, Cardigan, Clutch, Katie Lee Joel, Knit, Tights) (, , , , , , )

Two questions: 1.) Why would anyone invite Katie Lee Joel to the Australia premiere? 2.) Why the heck did she come dressed as a black standard poodle?

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Eternal question

November 13, 2008 at 5:48 pm (All White, Beaded, Draped, Fergie, Sequins, Tights) (, , , , , , )

Sure, “is so-and-so pregnant?” is the eternal Hollywood question. The minute someone sports a little paunch in their size -2 frame, everyone things they’re preggers.

But seriously…is Fergie pregnant? Look at these recent photos. Her washboard abs seem less washboardy, and the girls are absolutely enormous.

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Wearable art

October 22, 2008 at 9:11 am (Asymmetrical, Beaded, Brooch, Clutch, Katie Lee Joel, Metallic, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sequins, Shiny, Tights) (, , , , , , , , )

I get that the Mobile Art Chanel Contemporary Art Container opening is about fashion as art, and not necessarily about what’s wearable or salable. So, if there is a time to go conceptual, forward, quirky, this is it.

Nevertheless, Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a Chanel bag lady and Katie Lee Joel looks like Flapper Pocahontas.

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Xena

October 11, 2008 at 11:26 am (Belt, Boots, Kelly Lynch, Plaid, Studded, Tights) (, , , , , , )

Kelly Lynch seems to be channelling Xena the Scottish Warrior Princess here. Why else would she pair Larry the Cable Guy’s plaid shirt with some butt-kickin’ boots and a studded purse? I don’t know if the look is Scottish, western, biker, or warrior. But I know it’s bad.

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Oh noe Zoe!

September 23, 2008 at 12:13 pm (Fringe, Knit, Plaid, Rachel Zoe, Tights) (, , , , , , )

It seems that, between her hectic styling career and her Bravo TV show, Rachel Zoe still has some extra time on her hands. Cuz she has obviously picked up latch hook, and insists on wearing her crafty items to the Salvatore Ferragamo show in Milan.

Seriously, come on. The dress is plaid. And bulky. And fringed. And shapeless. And cowl-necked. Who can wear that? And, more importantly, why would they want to wear a Scottish throw rug?

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Springtime down under

September 15, 2008 at 11:13 am (Floral, Hat, Nicole Kidman, Tights, Vest) (, , , , , )

Nicole Kidman so rarely missteps, so this outfit is extra surprising.

I know it is springtime in Australia, but is it a good idea to celebrate with a floral dress with a contrasting front, purple tights, a bowler hat and Grandpa’s sweater vest?

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I pity the fool

August 18, 2008 at 12:10 pm (All Black, Boots, Madonna, Metallic, Necklace, Sheer, Shorts, Tights) (, , , , , , )

I just have to say this, for my own mental health: Madonna is TOTALLY creeping me out these days. She has these spindly yet muscular arms and mega cheekbones. And why is she wearing such weird hoodie/athletic shorts combinations for her rehearsals?

But I digress. Back to the outfit at hand. Let’s break down this fiftieth birthday outfit (happy birthday, Madge!) from the bottom up:

Black thigh-high boots
Black hose
Black granny shorts
Black sheer dress
(Are you beginning to sense a theme?)
Black top we can’t see becuase it’s obsured by her stringy hair
Sheer black puffy sleeves with shiny gold cuffs
Eight pounds (or are they stones in Britian?) of Mr. T necklaces
Shiny clutch purse with rhinetone lettering

I guess her new look is “Biker-chick-figure-skater-meets-Mr.-T.”

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