Beauty pageant

October 7, 2008 at 12:23 pm (Ashley Tisdale, Beaded, Metallic, Ruffles, Sheer) (, , , , , , , )

I actually winced when I opened this picture of Ashley Tisdale in Jenny Packham at the London premiere of High School Musical 3.

Dress aside, she just looks odd. Like her head is unreasonably and disproportionately large for her body. And her face is kinda puckered.

From there, the dress is just really, super-duper, crazy busy. Little beaded ruffles all over the bodice/skirt and bigger ruffles on the sleeves. Little rhinestones on the waist and bigger rhinestones at the neck. Oh yeah, plus it’s sheer, with more little rhinestone embellishments.

The whole look feels a little JonBenet Ramsey gaudy dress-your-six-year-old-like-she’s-a-sexpot. Never a good look.

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Geriatric knee highs

August 14, 2008 at 2:36 pm (Ashley Tisdale, Sheer, Tights) (, , , , , , )

I don’t want to be all-Ashley Tisdale-all-the-time, but she keeps pulling out the doozies, so I keep posting her picture.

I get dark tights–sleek and modern.
I get knee socks–school girl gone bad.
I can live with sheer black hose– not the best look out there, but not laughable.

I can’t live with these sheer black knee highs.

Nothing is going to make her shoes look like geriatric ecco comfort granny sandals faster than these sheer knee highs. What’s next? Shuffleboard on the lido deck?

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The trend that keeps on rolling

August 14, 2008 at 11:13 am (Ashley Tisdale, Denim, Shorts, Tank) (, , , , , , )

The baggy jean pegging and rolling trend just gets worse and worse. We have baggy jeans on the red carpet, Katie Holmes wearing the same jeans every dang day, and now Ashley Tisdale is rolling up her baggy jean shorts. Ugh.

Stop. The. Insanity.

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Lingerie

August 7, 2008 at 6:28 pm (Ashley Tisdale, High Waisted, Lace, Lingerie, Shiny) (, , , , , , )

Personally, I think it is a challenge to pull off the lingerie look. The material is shiny, the lace can look cheap, and the cuts can be unflattering. More often than not, it ends up looking tarty or trashy. Think a whacked-out Courtney Love with smeared lipstick and unruly hair.

Despite my preconceptions on lingerie as clothing, Ashley Tisdale looks surprisingly matronly in this look. She is actually quite covered up. The thing is midnight blue. And it ain’t the least bit sultry.

So, I guess my notions on lingerie as clothing are a little off. But the overall look still isn’t much of a winner.

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Look sharp

July 13, 2008 at 8:51 am (Ashley Tisdale, Boots) (, , , , )

Ay, caramba! This dress looks like Ashley Tisdale’s grandma whipped up a tribute to the Incan gods in macrame.

I like the shape of it. And I like parts of the dress, say the neckline and the bottom hem embellishment. But all of it together, with clunky bucked riding boots, leaves me feeling a little woozy.

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Death to the maxi-dress

July 10, 2008 at 11:21 am (Ashley Tisdale, Maxi-dress, Ruffles, Tribal) (, , , , )

Confession time: I’ve been sick and tired of the maxi-dress for some time. Our courtship didn’t last very long at all. I saw a few Jessica Simpson or Eva Longoria Parker photos, and I was out. Done. Moved on.

Now I’m not just tired of them, I am poke-my-eyes-out, why-do-we-continue-to-get-punished tired of them.

Today’s wailing and gnashing of teeth is directed at Ashley Tisdale. The fabric is horrible. It is just plain ugly. It isn’t even good enough to be used as upholstery at Taco Bell.

Here’s the only good thing I can muster about it: at least it’s not a jumpsuit.

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