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August 21, 2008 at 11:17 am (Lace, Maria Sharapova, Sheer, Strapless) (, , , , , , )

Looking past the could-you-BE-any-more-obvious product placement, Maria Sharapova’s Lanvin dress looks like a Home Ec sewing project gone horribly wrong. Horribly terrifyingly disastrously wrong.

The brown dress alone is passable. I’m not sure why there is some lace peeking out of the bodice and why the fabric covering her left boob is higher than the fabric covering her right boob, but whatever. Not a total nightmare.

But wait, there’s more. Why does she need the sheer figure-skating-costume-fabric at the neck? And what in the name of heaven and earth and all that is holy is the one 80s puffy sleeve thing?

The umpire has spoken on this dress, and Maria loses this match by default.

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