Dress mess

February 23, 2009 at 1:58 pm (Amy Adams, Draped, Necklace, Strapless, Stripes) (, , , , , , , , )

This is one mess of a look, Amy Adams. If you paid someone to help you put this together, you should ask for a refund. Pronto. Seriously.

I’m not crazy about the Carolina Herrera dress.  I’d says stripes or sheer, but not both. And doesn’t it look like a magician is doing a trick by pulling out a long sheer scarf from between her boobs?

But the necklace/bib is what makes me crazy. The necklace isn’t exactly my style, but I can see it with a simple dress so the necklace pops. Put it with one of the gazillon colorless dresses on the Oscar red carpet and you’re set. But don’t pair it with a red striped chiffony dress!

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On Garde

February 23, 2009 at 11:01 am (Beaded, Draped, Reese Witherspoon, Sashes) (, , , , , , , , , )

I’ll be the first to admit that Rodarte is my my cup of tea. I am not edgy or avant garde. But I can appreciate it on a Natalie Portman or Tilda Swinton.

But I almost fell out off the couch when I saw Reese Witherspoon in Rodarte at last night’s Oscars. Really? Sweet Home Alabama? June Carter Cash? Elle Woods? In Rodarte?

More than incompatibility, though, was the fact that this dress does absolutely nothing for Reese. I don’t understand the straps. Or the bodice.  Or the random light blue chunk of hem.

Get Nina Ricci back on your speed dial!

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Oysters

February 20, 2009 at 11:08 am (Corsage, Kate Bosworth, Strapless, Tulle) (, , , , , , )

I’m not sure what inspired Kate Bosworth’s Loewe dress.

Perhaps some oysters in wedding apparel? Or the fog character in those Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich commercials?

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Linebacker

February 17, 2009 at 11:24 am (Belt, Clutch, Kim Kardashian, Leather, Shoulder pads, Tank) (, , , , , )

This season seems to be about shoulder pads. I’m not sure how well this translates from runway to real life.

Case in point: Kim Kardashian.

She actually looks great. Hair and make up- great. Outfit- not earth shattering, but she looks OK. Shoulder pads- Hmmmm, not feeling the love. I get the idea, but it’s a little to edgy for her to pull off.

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Orange you glad to see me?

February 13, 2009 at 11:12 am (Cut-outs, Lace, Michelle Monaghan, Ruffles, Sheer, Tulle) (, , , , , )

I was on a little vacation, and came back to see Michelle Monaghan wearing this Louis Vuitton train wreck.

Whaaaaat? Was I gone too long? Did my eye sight get distorted from too much sun? WTF is this thing? And what would compel anyone (other than Madonna, who is paid to wear Vuitton) to wear this monstrosity?

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Hit me with your best shot

February 5, 2009 at 4:28 pm (All Black, Beaded, Boots, Leggings, Sequins, Sheer, Stripes, Sweater, Tank, Taylor Momsen) (, , , , , , )

I am utterly and completely over Taylor Momsen’s Pat Benatar look.  Those leggings are really unfortunate.

Plus, I get totally annoyed every time I see her photo. She’s 15 and newly famous. Why does she always look so pissed off about being photographed?

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Forever 21

February 5, 2009 at 2:21 pm (Bows, Fergie, Headband, Lace, Necklace) (, , , , , , )

It looks like Fergie hauled herself down to the local Forever 21 store and bought the first thing she could find.  The dress looks cheap and tarty, the jewelry makes it even worse, and it is never a good idea to put a gi-normous bow on your boobs.

On the upside, I do really like her hair and make up. Sometimes Fergie’s face can look a big angular, and this is soft and fresh.

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Teese

February 4, 2009 at 4:57 pm (All Black, Clutch, Costume, Dita von Teese, Fur, Headband) (, , , , , , )

I get that Dita Von Teese is going for a particular look. And that her look is inherently costumey. I can live with that on her.

But what on God’s green earth is she wearing on her head?

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Sack of potatoes

February 3, 2009 at 1:09 pm (Anne Hathaway, Metallic, Sheer) (, , , , , , )

Anne Hathaway looks like she is wearing a sack of sparkly potatoes. There is literally *nothing* flattering about this dress.

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Just not that into you

February 3, 2009 at 11:02 am (Beaded, Gladiator Sandal, Jennifer Connelly, Sequins) (, , , , , , )

Note to Jennifer Connelly’s Balmain dress: I’m just not that into you.

I’ll grant you that it’s interesting. But interesting is a code word for, ” I can’t think of anything better to say.” It feels part Dynasty, part mother-of-the-bride, and part Flintstones.

I like the shoes– a lot, actually– but don’t think they relate to the dress at all. It’s like Joan Collins’ shoulders and Sasha Fierce’s feet.

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