March 30, 2009 at 12:02 pm (All Black, Belt, Deep V, High Waisted, Jumpsuit, Kim Kardashian, Pleated, Studded, Tank) (, , , , , , )

Memo to Kim Kardashian: You have cantaloupes, not tangerines. The girls need waaayyyyy more support than this.  Lift ’em high, girlfriend! And never ever balance them over a mega high waisted belt again. Not doing you any favors!

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Square bubble

January 21, 2009 at 4:16 pm (Pleated, Rihanna) (, , , , , , )

Is it geometrically possible to look like a square bubble? Apparently, Rihanna was out to prove that this was not only possible, but to punctuate her point in bright yellow.

I really don’t understand this dress. How can curved pleats, a bubble skirt, and two very buoyant boobs look so dang boxy?

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November 24, 2008 at 12:09 pm (All Black, Boots, Deep V, Halter, Leather, Leggings, Metallic, Rihanna, Shiny, Strapless, Studded) (, , , , , , )

Rihanna: is this fashion or a deadly weapon? It makes a great AMA stage costume, but I’m honestly a little frightened by it. Very Pamela Anderson/ Barb Wire, Bridgette Nielsen, or “Letha” Stella from Project Runway. And we know how classy they all are.

PS I do not like your hair as of late. Please rethink the short bouffant look!

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Fish tank

September 26, 2008 at 11:50 am (Deep V, Halter, Rihanna) (, , , , , , )

I think Rihanna’s style is amazing. She may not have much cash in the bank (relative to her star status), but she knows how to choose the cream of the designer crop.

I don’t think this Gucci halter dress makes the cut. It looks like a fish tank, with fluorescent fake plastic ferns swaying along the bottom and little bubbles floating up. All we need is a glug, glug, glug noise to make our fish tank look complete.

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Goth flamingo

June 20, 2008 at 5:41 pm (All Black, Feathers, Leggings, Necklace, Rihanna, Shiny, Stretch) (, )

Rihanna has quite the goth flamingo look going today. With an art deco hood ornament.

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Good ship lollypop

June 20, 2008 at 11:31 am (Deep V, Hat, Pastels, Rihanna, Ruffles, Vest) (, )

This skirt is utterly ridiculous. There is no other way to describe it. Is she a conductor on the Good Ship Lollypop? Or the cruise director for the gay carnival cruise to Barbados?

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Much too much

June 16, 2008 at 10:12 am (All Black, Belt, Leggings, Pockets, Rihanna, Ruffles, Shiny, Stretch) (, )

Rihanna certainly is an entertainer. Her clothing choices for Sunday’s Much Music Awards in Toronto were quite entertaining!

She arrived in the long black dress; that skirt looks like it is make out of neoprene! And what is the deal on the belt/suspender combo? She looks harnessed for hauling a farm wagon. And I really don’t get it given the buttoned belt of the skirt.

She then performed in the ruffled top and leggings ensemble. I am so OVER the rubberized legging look. The ruffled top looks like a shapeless crinkled garbage bag. Is there actually a belt floating around in there? And the hat screams Village People.

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Hippy hippy shakes

June 1, 2008 at 9:56 pm (Cut-outs, Draped, Necklace, Rihanna) ()

Thank heavens for the MTV Awards this weekend. It’s been a little slow since Cannes ended, but now we have some new fashion lows to discuss.

First up: Rihanna. Normally I love Rihanna’s slick urban vibe. Perfect for the MTV Awards! But for some reason, she decided to go this little number.

The general cut has a demure fifties feel. The necklace, neckline and sleeves feel quite retro. But then we get the tummy cut-out, creating an odd boob-smooshing bandeau. We finish it off with a skirt, which creates a wave pool effect emanating from her belly button and culminating at her hips.

And what’s the perfect accessory for this mess of a dress? Why, neon green fingernails, of course!?

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