Multiple personalities

January 30, 2009 at 12:32 pm (All Black, Boots, Denim, Rumer Willis) (, , , , , , )

I think Rumer Willis might suffer from a multiple personality disorder.

Sometimes she dresses like a sexpot. Sometimes she dresses like a guy. In this photo, she dresses like she grabbed whatever was laying around on the floor.

I’m not sure that these clothes are even clean. Or that she combed her hair. I sure as heck hope she at least brushed her teeth!

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Hair extensions

December 8, 2008 at 11:42 am (Cardigan, Metallic, Rumer Willis, Sequins, Shiny, Tank) (, , , , , , )

I’m all for experimenting with hair styles and colors. But this ‘do should be retired.

The color is actually nice, but the stringy curls and shapeless style are bad, bad, bad.

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… and guest

August 21, 2008 at 1:43 pm (Rumer Willis, Sneakers) (, , , , , , , , , )

Instead of my usual ranting and raving on bad fashion, I am going to rant and rave about the Willis-Moore-Kutcher-plus-two-random-boys-from-down-the-street family.

Let me tell you a little story. When I got married, we invited my husband’s aunt and uncle. They took it upon themselves to invite their four kids (which I guess makes a little sense, at least they are related). But then those four kids each brought a guest! So one invitation now totals ten people! How does that work on the RSVP card?

Yes, this story does relate…I promise.

So–yippee–someone is paying Rumer to act in a movie. Whoop-de-doo. She needs to come to the premiere. Makes sense. She can even bring a date. But how does “Rumer Willis and guest” become nine f*ing people!?!? How pathetic is it that Bruce and random woman #47 and Demi and Ashton have to show up? I’m sure they are really proud of her. Blah, blah, blah. Their “come out and support her” sounds a lot like “come out and upstage her.”

And how big is her part in The House Bunny? She is listed eleventh in the cast list, behind “Sweet Prostitute” and “Dean Simmons.” Somehow her other ten cast mates (who presumably have bigger parts) made it to the premiere without an entourage of their entire neighborhood.

Finally–what is the deal with Aston’s shoes? I get that tennies on the red carpet is the newest thing. But a few points: 1) When Tom Cruise is doing it, it is already inherently lame. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. 2) If you still insist on wearing the sneaks, where a sleek street version, not these dorky shoes-you-would-actually-do-some-exercise-in.

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Sultry or saggy?

July 16, 2008 at 9:29 am (All Black, Deep V, Rumer Willis) (, , , , , )

I know the sultry look Rumer Willis is going for here. Unfortunately, it feels like she is trying too hard. And gravity isn’t working with her.

The dress itself is OK– albeit a little boring. And it has a mullet feel: vixen on top, matron on the bottom. Perhaps she is going for irony. But the vixen top is where it falls flat. Or droops. Or sags. Pick your verb. If you are going to try this type of look, the response should be, “Va-va-va-voom, she is smokin.” Not, “Yikes, I can’t believe this girl is only twenty. Perhaps she can be the spokeswoman for Maidenform.”

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Blinded by the white

June 30, 2008 at 4:00 pm (Denim, High Waisted, Leather, Rumer Willis, Shorts, Shoulder pads) (, , , , )

I sit at a desk all day and pound away at a keyboard. I don’t live in LA. I don’t have a convertible. I don’t take exotic vacations with cabanas and private beaches. And yet, somehow, even my legs aren’t this white.

Are big shoulder pads coming back into style? The jury’s still out on that one. But this jacket looks more 80s original than modern interpretation. And I am speechless by the high-waisted short-shorts. There just aren’t words.

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